Falling Deep
by Grey Wanderlust
Summary: "Does it get easier?" She asked him in a quiet voice. Her gaze entirely focused on him. "No...maybe...yes?" He replied after a moment of careful silence. She chuckled at his response. "You're lying", she said as she hugged her knees closer. "I am." People sometimes fall in love with the wrong person. How do they cope with it? Do they move on or fix the wrong and make it right?
1. Prologue - Touch

A/N: Yes I have read the whole Fairy Tail series till the end and yes I know all about the canon ships but this story is completely detached from the main setting. I am only using the characters in a setting of an alternate universe with a lot of changes to their personality. I haven't decided on the ending yet, nope. So it's basically me making the story up as I go. You're completely free to not like it. Just remember that I don't want any ship wars considering I like to respect everyone's views. Thank you.

* * *

 **Prologue**

"Can you hold my hand..?"

"We-..we shouldn't-"

"..just one last time?"

Her voice didn't crack. She managed to keep herself in check. And yet she was sure that he could see through it all. He always did. He always knew when there was something wrong with her. Regardless, she put on a fake smile while her eyes hurt from forcing back the tears. She could see it. The hint of pity in his eyes. But she did not care. She did not care how pathetic she might be acting. She just wanted to feel it. Feel his touch one last time. For her...if it was going to end, it might as well end how it all began.

 _Which was her, falling in love with him._

It took him forever but he reluctantly offered his hand as he waited for her to place her own on it. And she did without a moment's delay, fearing that he might change his mind. His hand was cold and she wondered how unfair it was for him to still be able to make her feel so warm inside. She closed her eyes, as if taking in the moment and writing it in her memories to never be erased again. He didn't say a word. And she appreciated the silence, even though she couldn't silence his voice in her head. The words that he spoke to her not a few minutes ago, seemed to echo through her entire existence.

 _"I don't think...I can do this anymore. I don't think I really...love you.."_

She could have told him to stay. Fought for it all to last. But he did not leave any room for any kind of effort. She could try to change his mind if it were this relationship that he was not satisfied with. But how could she make him fall in love with her? She couldn't.

She opened her eyes and they met his. It would probably be the last time she could lock eyes with him without feeling awkward for meeting the eyes of a stranger. Because that's what she was going to be to him from now on. _A stranger._

"Thank you." She finally murmured, swiftly taking her hand away from his.

She showed him a last smile as he stared at her for another few seconds. She didn't meet his eyes this time. She couldn't. He finally gave her a nod and turned his back to her. She moved her gaze back to him, staring at his back this time. The back of the man who promised her the world. The back of the man who she is still madly in love with.

 _The back of the man who never really felt the same._

Natsu Dragneel got into his car, parked a few meters away from where she was standing, now alone. He shot a last look at her, realizing that she was still looking at his way. With a pang of guilt, he turned his gaze to the front and started the engine.

He didn't have any complaints with her. Lucy Heartfilia was the best woman, Natsu had ever come across. She was every definition of perfect for him. But the fault lied with him. He couldn't bring himself to love her as much as he wished he could. So he decided to end the relationship before it became a burden for him.

 _He liked to be free. And he was exactly that now._

Lucy watched his car speed away and she watched it until neither the car nor it's shadow was in view. She then let herself crash on the hard cold concrete road. She couldn't stop the shaking that seemed to have spread all over her body. And she knew very well that the cold wasn't the one to blame. The proof of that soon showed itself from the tears that followed. She unconsciously hugged herself in an attempt to stop the shaking and bit her lower lip, trying to prevent the moans that threatened to escape.

It was very close to midnight and the traffic was next to none. Not many passersby remained in the street either. The few ones that did, only gave her curious looks before deciding to walk away. Except for just one man.

A raven haired male had finally found the person he was looking for. Though what he did not expect was for her to be sitting in the middle of the street seeming completely broken and detached from the rest of the world. Several emotions were displayed in his features, among which shock was the most evident one. He fastened his pace, making his way to the distressed figure, taking off the dark grey blazer that he had on as he did so.

"Lucy!" He finally called her name upon reaching her. He knelt down in front of her as he placed the blazer around her shoulders. She responded to his call by looking up at him. Her eyes seemed red and puffy as the tears showed no sign of stopping. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips trembling as her lower lip showed signs of bleeding.

"G-Gray.." she forced out in a soft but unsteady tone and his first instinct was to pull her into his arms in a tight embrace.

Her sobs were drowned in his neck and Gray gritted his teeth as a mix of anger and hurt flowed through him. He hated that man because he had it all. He had everything that Gray wanted. Yet he threw it all away. And he hated himself for not gathering up the courage to make the first move. After all he knew _his_ feelings weren't temporary. Yet as he felt her trembling in pure pain in his arms, he knew all that did not matter now. It was too late to go back to the start.

 _But it wasn't too late for him to promise himself to not make the same mistake again._

* * *

 **A/N:** Alright! Done with the prologue! The main story will begin from the next chapter! I hope you guys look forward to it. :)


	2. Chapter 1 - Numb

**Chapter 1 - Numb**

"Is here okay?"

He only got a nod as his answer. Not that he was expecting anything more.

"I'll get you something warm to drink, alright? Stay here."

He told her as he sat her down on the bed. He did not get any response this time so he took it as a silence of affirmation. Grabbing the blanket that was neatly folded at the end corner of the bed, he draped it around her shoulders. Making sure that she wasn't complaining, he made his way out of the room. He shut the door on his way, wanting to give her some much needed privacy.

Gray sauntered across the living room and into the kitchen, noticing how unused everything seemed. It had been a while since he came into her apartment but that did not mean he was not familiar with the order of everything there. There was a coffee mug by the sink and he realized that the coffee maker was the only appliance that had been in constant use. He knew she had not been eating properly but what he did not know was that she barely touched anything in her kitchen.

The realization only added more to his hatred for the one man who was responsible for it all. But he decided to keep his feelings aside. At least for the time being. It was no use getting riled up when the one suffering the most was not even him.

He grabbed his car keys that he had left on the small dining table in the living room when he came in with her. He wondered if he should tell her that he was going out. But he decided otherwise as there was no need to bother her when he intended to get back as soon as possible. Checking the mostly empty fridge carefully, Gray walked out of the apartment as in his head, he made a simple calculation of the time needed to get back from the nearest 24 hours convenience store.

* * *

Lucy slowly moved away from the edge of the bed, until her back touched the wall beside it. She leaned forward, bringing her knees close to her chest. She hugged her knees as she rested her head on them. It was a cold night, but it was not really the cold outside that actually bothered her. It was the _numbness_ that she was feeling. She had cried her eyes out on the way back home. And despite telling herself to stop because she was in front of a friend whom she had already troubled enough, the tears never did. Yet now that she was in her own personal space and had the privilege of letting it all out without looking hopelessly pathetic...no tears came. And she realized that..

 _emptiness was the only emotion that she was allowed to feel for a while._

The realization of never being able to see him the same way again. The realization of never being able to touch him like that ever again. The realization of turning a blind eye to all those hints that he showed prior to this night. The realization of having to live with a hole inside her for who knew how long. It was all way more than she was ever prepared to take in.

There was an intense desire to cry but she was unable to do so. Maybe she'd feel better if she cried? But again, one doesn't usually have an option to feel better right after losing someone so... _important._ It was like something was tearing her apart and all she could do was accept it because she was just too stupid to prevent any of that from happening.

Yes, she felt stupid. She felt so stupid for letting him in. For letting him make her fall in love. She never let anyone in. But the one time she did because she was so sure that nothing could go wrong, her beliefs failed her. And one thing was a fact. She could never trust like that again.

A feeling of nausea crept up her chest and to her mouth. It wasn't the kind where one had to throw up to feel better. It was the kind where everything...including one's own self was so sickening that even suffocation was no surprise.

"It's gonna be alright..it's gonna be alright..it's gonna be alright..", she chanted the words in a way that sounded more like desperate pleas than the words of encouragement. And no, it was not helping. But it kept her occupied while she waited for Gray's return. She knew she was just asking to cause more trouble for him. And after what he saw, she did not know how to act around him either. Yet none of it mattered. It was a selfish thought, but she _needed_ him to be with her.

 _Because at that moment, nothing scared her more than being left alone with her own self._

* * *

"Lucy, I'm back!" The door to the room opened, just a little more forcefully than he had intended. He was huffing and puffing as sweat rolled down his forehead. "I'm sorry it took me a while, I had gone out for a little shopping." Gray made his way to the bed where she sat in a corner, hiding her face on top of her knees. He plopped down beside her as he shuffled inside the bag that he was carrying.

"I got you your favorite ice-cream, a bunch of chocolates and some sandwiches. And I even have your favorite matcha tea! Now let's get to eating. You must be starving, right?" There was a hint of cheerfulness in his voice. Something that he had practiced on his way back to the apartment. He had never been a good actor. But he wished his lack of skills did not decide to show itself at that moment.

There was no visible response from Lucy, however. She almost seemed peacefully asleep, even though Gray knew better.

"You need to eat, you know?" His voice sounded more gentle and genuine this time. A few moments passed in silence as he waited patiently for her to respond.

"I don't-..I don't feel like it." she spoke quietly enough for him to miss the words if he weren't sitting so close to her.

"I'm sure you don't. But your body needs food to function properly."

"If functioning properly only means hurting more...then I don't need it." Gray sighed, a hint of sadness visible in his features. But he decided to say no more. It wasn't like he was a stranger to these thoughts. He knew what he was dealing with. And the last thing he wanted was to make her feel guilty thinking that she was not appreciating his efforts enough.

Gray put aside the bag on the night stand, making a mental note to replace the contents into the fridge later. He then turned back to her. She had his undivided attention as he waited for her to say something.

"How do you accept the fact that something you thought would last forever, ended so abruptly..?" She did not need to look up and check his expression to know that she had caught him off guard with a question like that. But she couldn't help it either. She spoke her mind before realizing that she was doing so. Yet his silence made her wonder if she really did say it aloud.

"It wasn't abrupt, was it?" Gray finally spoke, as he observed her carefully. He had no intention of rubbing salt on her wounds. He just wanted her to stop lying to herself even after facing the clear truth.

The grip she had around her knees tightened. And he could see that she knew what he was thinking.

"...It took him four years to realize that he didn't love me. Four years of my life I-...I invested on him. I did e-everything I could to save... _us._ Only to realize that-...that there was _never us._ It was just-..just him all along and I-..." Her voice cracked. Sobs convulsed her. She tried to get a grip on herself and utter a proper word but it was all useless. So she spoke the next few words in her head instead.

 _...and I was just a goddamn fool!_

Gray couldn't bear to sit still and watch any longer. He grabbed her hand, loosening her grip on her knees. And then gently pulled her in a hug with her head resting on his chest. She did not complain, or maybe she could not afford to. He ran a hand through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp as he did so. And occasionally rubbed her back as he let her weep until she couldn't anymore.

"Those four years...were not a waste. He just did not deserve you.." His voice was gentle yet full of emotions that she could not grasp.

"We don't have the option to check whether someone deserves us, before falling in love with them. You won't...understand, Gray." Her voice was quiet and slightly broken.

"You're wrong. I do understand.."

 _..and very painfully so._


	3. Chapter 2 - All the Whys

**A/N:** A friend told me that I should "actively" ask for reviews in order to connect with the readers of this story better. Even though I have no idea how I'm supposed to do that... But I'm sure if you guys want to say something you will, right? Feel free to mention the things you like and things you don't. I guess I should also ask if you're liking the story so far? I will be looking forward to your reviews. :)

* * *

 **Chapter 2 - All the "Why"s**

"How is she doing?"

"I'm sure you can guess."

"Oh God. I shouldn't have let her go last night."

"Why are you blaming yourself? You couldn't have known what it was about."

"But the thing is, _I did know_. I had more or less of an idea why he'd call her there at midnight of all times, after not being in contact with her for over three months.. Yet I hoped that I was wrong and-"

"It's not your fault. This was bound to happen sooner or later. And Lucy isn't stupid. I believe she knew that too."

"But still...this is so frustrating."

 _"Miss Mirajane, Mr. Laxus wants to see you regarding the documents you submitted yesterday."_

 _"Yes, I'll be there in a minute."_

"Sucks to be working on Sundays."

"I can't disagree with that", she chuckled before continuing, "but I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I know but still I'd expect him to go easier on his fiancée at least." He smiled as despite telling her that, he was very much aware of the fact that it was an impossible condition. For Laxus, everything and everyone was the same when it came to work.

"I think that's partially because he knows that the day he becomes more generous towards me just because I'm his fiancée, I'll quit this job." The smile was evident in her voice but Gray knew that she was completely serious.

"Okay okay, you win."

"I always do! Anyways, I have to go. But Gray..."

"Yeah?"

"Please take care of her... You are the only one who can right now."

"I know. Bye, Mira."

"Bye. I'll call again."

The phone call disconnected as Gray sighed leaning back on the couch that he had slept on the previous night. _Slept?_ No, that was a bit off. The couch that he _tried to sleep_ on the previous night. He had stayed with Lucy in her room until she was exhausted enough to fall asleep and when she did, he sneaked out into the living room and made himself home on the couch beside the small balcony. Yet despite his countless attempts at sleeping the anxiety of not being helpful enough to her, kept him up. He had lost count of how many times he went to her room to check if she was sleeping okay. Something that he was going to do again but Mira's call distracted him.

Mira. Gray thought back to his conversation with her.

 _"You are the only one who can right now."_

He did say that he knew, implying that he understood what she was talking about. But in reality, he was plain confused. To Lucy, he was just a friend who happened to see her in her weakest moment. That was probably only why she allowed him to stay by her side. Because knowing Lucy, she hated troubling others more than anything. There could be no other reason why she'd let him see her when she's falling apart. Or maybe that's really what Mira meant after all.

The thought was convincing and made the most sense to him. But he couldn't help the loneliness that followed along.

Realizing that he wasn't going anywhere with this, Gray more or less dragged himself out of the couch and to the kitchen.

Lucy hadn't taken a single bite the previous night and even though he had tried again to get her to eat something, it was to no avail. He was not going to allow her to continue like that so as the good reliable friend he was, he decided to make her the only thing he's actually good at making. Pancakes.

* * *

Lucy's morning was much more different than that of Gray's. She woke up to the sound of a bird tapping on her window glass. Squinting her eyes to the brightness in the room, she slowly sat up on her bed while stretching her arms above her head. For a single moment, everything was fine. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She was going to get up, wash her face, have a cup of coffee, get dressed and leave for work. Oh of course she had to text Natsu as wel-...

 _Natsu._

And the next moment it all came crashing down on her. Reality seemed to slap her on the face and this time she was awake for real.

 _She had woken up in a reality where he did not belong anymore._

She remembered his words. The way he looked at her oh so casually. As he told her that he did not really love her. She remembered how it felt hearing those words. And touching him the last time. The coldness of his skin tingling her warmth. It was all too real. As if she had gone back to that exact moment. The moment where she saw her world crumble. The world that she had created in her mind. The world where no one but him and her belonged to.

There were ups and downs in their relationship. Rough phases, occasional fights, frustration, hurt, detachment. But she always believed that they could make it through all. Only to learn that she was so up in her head that she denied to see the harsh reality.

 _A reality where he never felt the same._

She didn't know why she was doing this to herself. All the memories of him, but just the good ones, flooded her senses. She tried so hard to find his flaws and to tell herself that he did not deserve her. And that she needed to let go. But all she could see was just how perfect he was for her. Every single thing about him gave her a new reason to fall more in love.

She was in pain. Everything about her hurt. Hurt like nothing she experienced in her life ever before.

He was there for her when she lost her parents, when her dog died. He was there for her when she was too drunk to stand on her feet, when she was locked outside of her apartment. He was there for her when she had forgotten her umbrella on a rainy evening, when she had sprained her ankle during her dance lessons. He was there for her when she cried to sleep for no reason, when she accidentally deleted her first presentation for her dream job. He was always there. _Always._

How was she supposed to remember a life before him? _How was she going to live that life without him?_ How and... _why?_

Why did it all have to end like that? Why did she let him in? Why did she give him so much of her? Why did she show him her deepest secrets? Why couldn't she stop herself from falling so deep? Why? Why? Why?

 _Why couldn't she make him love her as much as he did?_

Lucy didn't realize herself when the tears had started clouding her vision, until it was too hard to breathe. It hurt. It hurt so much. Everything about her was being torn into pieces and she had no way to prevent any of it. She was losing herself with each passing moment. She let out a scream, clutching her sides as the pain showed no signs of lessening. She had broken into a crying mess. Whimpering and wiping the tears away with the back of her hands as she tried to get a grasp on herself, except it did not work. _At all._

"LUCY!" Gray came crashing into the room, swinging the door open and rushing to her side. "What happened? Lucy! Talk to me!"

She could not answer him. There was a lump in her throat and she couldn't find her voice to be able to speak. Her body was shaking uncontrollably and Gray hugged her to calm her down. She grabbed on to his shirt, like her life depended on it. He rocked back and forth with her in his arms and once she was too exhausted to even move, the room fell quiet again.

The front of Gray's shirt was soaked from her tears but that was the last thing he was bothered about at that moment. "Are you okay now?"

She stayed silent for a long moment, before nodding slowly and loosening her grip on the sides of his shirt. He let her go, creating some space between them. He then leaned down to look at her face. Her pale skin was tinted with redness, her eyes swollen and displayed the same shade of red as her skin. Her hair was frizzy and a mess. She was sweating profusely despite the A/C in the room operating on a very low temperature.

The bright, positive, always cheerful and energetic Lucy Heartfilia he had known for so many years, was reduced to the Lucy Heartfilia that was in front of him at that moment.

"You need a shower." Gray told her, ignoring the sudden burst of pain in his chest at the view in front of him.

She gave him a small nod.

"Don't take too long in there and think about unnecessary thoughts. I made breakfast so I want you on the dining table as soon as possible." Another nod from her before Gray gave her a gentle smile. "Now go, I'll be waiting. We're going out after that."

Lucy finally looked up at him and he could see that she was about to say no to his last proposal but he gave her his best puppy eyes instead. She had opened her mouth but shut it again and sighed as she stepped out of the bed.

"I'll be out in fifteen minutes."

"That's too long!"

"I am a girl, Gray. I need time to get ready."

"Fine!" He sounded like he was complaining yet the smile on his face defied his tone. He was happy to finally have a casual conversation with her. And he knew that it did not go unnoticed by her, as she turned to him and gave him a small smile of reassurance.

 _"Thank you."_


	4. Chapter 3 - Distraction

**A/N:** I might do one-shot side stories on some of the side characters in this story, where they get to be the stars in their own. Not anytime soon though. Because work is the biggest obstacle between me and writing. I also typed this chapter on an adrenaline rush so I can only hope that it's good.

* * *

 **Chapter 3 - Distraction**

"I am still curious where you got a change of clothes from so fast."

"Oh. I had it at the back of my car. As you know, I have to go on long trips often so I turned my car into my second home." He let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"But you love this job, don't you?"

"Yeah being a professional photographer has it's own perks and-"

"Lucy!"

A petite and slender bluenette came running from a distance towards her, followed by a tall and sturdy tanned male with long black hair, slicked back.

"Levy! What are you doing here? And Gajeel too?" Confusion was visible in both Lucy's face and her voice as she hugged back her childhood best friend who had thrown herself on her.

"Yo, Gajeel and Levy!" Gray grinned at the two, earning a smirk from Gajeel.

"Been a long time since we saw you two." Gajeel said eyeing his overly excited girlfriend squeezing the life out of Lucy. She might be small but her strength was not to be taken lightly.

"Yeah. Life gets in the way sometimes." Gray responded as he internally sweatdropped at the same sight.

"Levy, I need to breathe..."

"Oh oops! Sorry Lucy! It's been so long since we got to hang out that I can't control my excitement!" Levy laughed cheerfully before finally letting go of her best friend.

Taking a huge intake of air and catching her breath at last, Lucy gave her a small smile. "I'm sorry I'd been unavailable. Work and stuff, you know?"

"I understand, silly! Don't worry about it. I know you had to travel a lot last month too." Levy gave her a sympathetic smile. "How's Loke?"

"Oh, he's on a vacation with his new girlfriend." Lucy sighed in exasperation as she remembered her boss's flirtatious and carefree smile when he left her with his share of work as well, only so that he could enjoy his second vacation of the month.

"He's a hopeless boss.. Let me be at him!" Levy said in a disciplined manner, and judging from her expression, she was so very ready to knock some sense of responsibility into that orange haired man-slut's head.

"It's okay Levy. I'm used to it. Besides, he does double the amount of work than I do when he actually puts his mind to it." Lucy smiled sheepishly as she hoped her statement would calm Levy down. It was an honest remark, however. Loke was very carefree in nature but when he worked, he was like a whole new person. That aspect of him somehow barely made up for the rest of his personality. Even though it did not change the fact that being his personal assistant, Lucy had to bear the consequences for most of his frivolous attitude.

While Lucy and Levy were in their own little world, catching up with each other, Gray turned to Gajeel with a thankful smile as he lowered his voice enough to not distract the girls.

"Thanks for coming on such a short notice, man."

"Don't mention it. We're friends, and we care about her just as much." Gajeel smirked as he gave Lucy a side glance. "She looks better than I thought though. Must be 'cause of you."

"I don't know about that. She's just good at making sure she isn't troubling others with her own problems."

"Fair enough."

"Hey you two! Stop whispering between yourselves and let's go inside already!" Levy shouted at the two boys as she grabbed Lucy's hand and dragged her to the entrance of the movie theater.

"Yeah yeah coming. But really, isn't this unfair how girls get to have their gossip time and boys don't?" Gray commented in an offended tone as he fastened his pace along with Gajeel, to catch up with the two ladies who were somehow already far ahead of them.

"So you mean you guys want to hug and stuff? Should we leave you two alone?" Levy looked over at them dramatically, giving them a serious look as she feigned innocence.

 **"No way! That's gross!"** The two burst out at the same time before turning to each other.

 **"Don't copy me!"**

...

 **"Fuck off!"**

Levy sighed. How could they be mad at each other even when they're perfectly in sync and agreeing at the exact same thing. "Seriously guys, what happened to the friendly vibe from a moment ago?"

Lucy let out a small chortle at how her friends never seemed to change. She felt a sense of relief from their unchanging attitude, discarding the worry that had taken over her thoughts when she first saw Gajeel and Levy. The uneasiness of not knowing how to act around them subsided as she reminded herself the fact that she was really lucky to have such friends.

* * *

"So which movie are we watching today?" Levy stared thoughtfully at the wide screen across them. It displayed the timings of each show in a perfect order.

"How about this one? It starts in twenty minutes." Gajeel said with a smirk. As expected, it was his favorite genre. Horror.

"Dude, let the girls decide this." Gray did not look pleased at how simple headed Gajeel could be.

"Are you saying you can't handle a pathetic jump scare, mate?"

"What was that- OW!"

"Enough, you two." Lucy casually pulled Gray's ear stopping him from getting into a blood bath as their little group received weird looks from the people around them. Gajeel was about to burst out laughing at the pained expression on Gray's face. That is, until he was pinched hard enough to have his own eyes tear up. Levy was giving him a not so impressed look before letting him go with the silent message of not starting a scene again. Unless he wanted worse.

"So what do you want to watch, Lucy?" She then turned to her best friend with the brightest smile she had.

"Anything is fine with me, really." Lucy gave her a small smile as she let go of Gray's ear, who rubbed it in pain before taking a mental note to not piss her off again. Not anytime soon at least.

"Then let's watch this! _The Finest Hours._ I've read the book and I loved it!"

"Are you sure? Most movies that are adapted from books don't follow the original story thoroughly. And you always hate that." Lucy gave her a concerned look, only to be dismissed with another bright smile from Levy.

"I'm sure it won't be that bad! I mean.. What's the worst that could happen, right?" Levy said cheerfully as she wrapped her arm around Lucy's before heading towards the ticket counter. "We're watching it!"

"Will it really be okay?" Gray asked Gajeel quietly in a curious manner, while following behind Lucy. Gajeel shrugged.

"As long as I don't have to listen to a three hours long debate on the differences between the movie and the book, I'm fine."

He did not admit it out loud, but for a moment Gray couldn't help but sympathize with the taller male.

* * *

"How could they?!" Levy came out of the theater hall with Gajeel, followed by Lucy and Gray.

"That was a good movie." Gray told Lucy with a smile. His smile did not last long however, as Levy shook her head in exasperation.

"No it was not! The book.. Did they even read it?!" Gajeel sighed knowing very well where this was going. He patted his girlfriend's head trying to comfort her as she sulked over the disappointment that she was feeling, all the while murmuring how the production house could have done a better job.

"Let's get something to eat?" Gajeel said, clearly trying to change the topic in an attempt to save himself from a never ending debate that he wasn't even interested in at the first place.

"Yes, let's do!" Lucy chimed in, despite having different intentions than that of him. She just wanted to cheer her best friend up. Gray observed Lucy as she talked to Levy, pointing out the good points the movie still had. He did not plan for things to end like this, but she was distracted. And that was his ultimate goal. He noted how she even looked like she was having a little fun. Maybe calling Levy and Gajeel was the right choice after all. He wanted her to see that she wasn't alone. Because no matter what happened, her friends were not going to change. And he knew that he had succeeded at that. A small thankful smile spread across his face as he joined in on a different debate that the three were now having. On where to eat.

Gajeel and Levy walked ahead as they searched for a good place to eat at on Gajeel's phone while Gray and Lucy followed them close behind. Lucy couldn't help but notice how much closer Levy was now to her boyfriend since the last time she saw the two. She was happy for them but at the same time she couldn't help but be a little jealous. They were so in love despite arguing like little children at times. The affection Gajeel had for Levy, that was always visible in his eyes when he let her win their arguments, did not go unnoticed by Lucy.

 _So that's how it looks like when both people are equally in love._

It was an irony how she was only noticing these little yet significant things _after_ getting her heart broken. A mix of emotions surged through her at the thought. She took a deep breath, reminding herself to control her feelings instead of letting them control her. She was not going to be weak and ruin the moment for her friends. They might not realize it but she knew that they were there to cheer her up. They did not ask her a single question about the previous night, nor did they ask her about how she was doing. They made sure to not bring up anything that could possibly make her remember her pathetic state. And she couldn't be more grateful.

"Hey Lucy, you have something on there." Gray suddenly spoke interrupting her thoughts. He pointed to the right side of his own mouth as he noticed a tiny food stain on her clear face, probably from the nachos they had earlier during the movie.

"Here?" She touched the spot a little above where the stain really was and without giving it much of a thought, Gray reached out to wipe it away himself.

"Nope, right here." He did not notice what he was doing until his thumb accidentally brushed against her lips. The blank look on his face suddenly did a 180 degree as he froze for a moment.

Lucy stared at him, without really knowing what to say either. She couldn't help but realize how his touch was cold yet with a strange kind of warmth to it. Her eyes moved to his thumb which was now hovering over her lips.

"I- I am sorry.." Gray pulled back his hand to rub the back of his neck as he found it impossible to look at her directly,

"It's o-okay.." She did not think of it as a big deal. But she couldn't ignore the tingling sensation at where his thumb touched on her lips. And for a moment, Lucy was _truly distracted_ from the complicated thoughts in her head.

"Hey, why are you two still standing there?" Levy finally spoke and Lucy looked over at the direction her voice was coming from. And true enough, both Gajeel and she were standing way far ahead of them. "We found a new french restaurant down the street. Let's go!"

"Coming!" Lucy started walking again as Gray did the same. There was a tint of red visible on his cheeks that went unnoticed by her. Something that he was much grateful for.

* * *

"Hey isn't that the girl you broke up with last night, Natsu?"

"Huh?" A pair of curious black eyes turned to the direction at where a pale hand was pointing. And real enough, even among the hundreds of people going in and out of the movie halls, they fell on a specific blonde. He could recognize her anywhere, after all. She was standing with her back partially turned towards him. He was about to look away until he noticed another familiar man standing in front of her.

 _Gray?_

Before he could register the fact that Gray, his childhood friend was back in town without him knowing, he realized that the two looked way closer than he last remembered. Gray was touching her... _lips?_ And she did not seem to complain. An uneasy feeling formed in the pit of his stomach before he finally decided to look away.

"And she is with a guy too. Wow! Looks like you weren't the only one who was tired of the relationship." The statement was followed by an obnoxious laugh that was only meant to mock him.

"Leave Natsu alone, Sorano!" The owner of the voice sighed. She wrapped her arm around Natsu's and urged him to keep walking. "He doesn't have anything to do with her anymore. So who she is and isn't with, is none of his concern."

"Whoa! Meredy to the rescue!~ Stop acting like his girlfriend, will you?" Sorano smirked, seemingly pleased at the bashful look on the other girl's face.

"Are we going to watch the movie or not?" A deep male voice decided to intervene. He was not going to miss the show because of these two bitches. In fact, he didn't even know why he still let them call themselves his friends.

"Let's go." Natsu did not utter another word. He finally continued his way to the movie hall they were heading to for their show. The girl called Meredy gave him a worried glance as he pulled his arm away from hers, much to Sorano's amusement.

"Well, someone looks upset." She remarked with the same mocking tone from before.

"You seemed to have hurt his ego." The last and quietest one in the group finally spoke as he eyed the salmon haired male with a small hint of amusement of his own.

"Exactly what I was trying to do, Macbeth." Sorano winked at the dark haired male. She threw a last glance at her _dear_ _friend_ 's ex who seemed to have walked away from her previous spot. There was no sign of the hottie with her either.

"But I gotta admit that she really knows her men." She finally added more to herself than the others. Yet it did not go unheard by the person who wanted to hear it the least. Natsu.

 _I don't care._


	5. Chapter 4 - Missed Chances

**A/N:** Just putting it out in the open. Gray's eyes are said to be dark red after the one year time-skip. _Source: Fairy Tail Wikia._

Anyways, to answer a guest reader's question in the reviews: Natsu is in the tags because he is an important part of this story. You will have to wait to find out more.:)

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Missed Chances**

The door to the apartment clicked open. Lucy stepped inside with a few grocery bags, struggling to keep them steady in her arms.

"Lucy, you're back!"

"Yeah, I am. Now help me with these bags. They're almost slipping away from my grasp."

"Right away!"

Gray rushed to her side taking away all her burden. Something she did not seem quite happy about.

"I did not ask you to take all of them."

"Don't worry about the small details." Gray chuckled and Lucy sighed as she turned around to shut the door behind them. "But wow, you got a lot of stuff!"

"I am not willing to eat any more pancakes." she smiled as she took off her coat and hung it on the hook beside the door. She then followed Gray into her living room where he sat down the bags on the small dining table.

"Hey, I'm offended. My pancakes are the best!" He turned to her with a fake pout to which Lucy let out a chuckle.

"They are, but I am tired of having them for every meal. You've been here for over two weeks now, and that's all I'd been eating. Well except for the couple few times you ordered takeaways."

"But that's all I know how to make... And I'd been making them with different things! Chocolates, strawberries, nuts-"

"You should learn to cook more things. I'll teach you. How about it? That way you can impress any girl!" She winked at his way, leaving him completely flustered. He looked away, not being able to meet her eyes.

"I don't need to impress anyone..." Gray slowly glanced back at her before gathering up the courage to continue. "I mean...as long as I get to impress you that's all that matters."

Lucy raised a brow looking visibly confused. "Why do you want to impress me?"

 _Dammit._

He had no answer to that and all he wanted was to slap his past self from five seconds ago for thinking he could get away with being bold all of a sudden. His phone rang up at that moment. Much to his relief as Lucy was now completely distracted from their previous conversation.

"It must be from work." He told her. It wasn't a lie. He was indeed expecting a call at that hour, regarding his next exhibition. She nodded with a smile.

"Take your time." She walked to the table and started unloading the shopping bags.

Gray turned around and grabbed his phone from the couch - that he had converted into a temporary living space of his own. It was a call from an unnamed number. Something that did not really bother him. He was working with a new director after all. And he had only talked to him once. Which was through Gray's manager.

He took a deep breath and answered the call with a cheerful tone.

"Hey, Gray Fullbuster speaking. Who is this?"

"Gray. It's me."

Gray's eyes widened for a moment, his breath caught in his throat.

"Hello? Gray? Are you listening?"

"Yeah. I am." Gray glanced at Lucy's direction, who was now in the kitchen washing some vegetables, probably preparing to cook them. He turned back and made his way to the small balcony. "Just a second." He spoke before sliding the glass door to the balcony open. He stepped out, not too bothered by the gust of cold wind that blew on his face.

Lucy looked up from what she was doing as the temperature in the room suddenly dropped. She shivered at the sudden change but did not complain. Since she thought how he might have been right after all, about the call being from work. And it was only obvious that he needed some privacy. She went back to preparing their lunch while hoping that he would at least remember to shut the door behind him. Which he did.

"So, what is it?" Gray finally asked after making sure that his voice wouldn't reach Lucy.

"Why hadn't you been taking my call?" The voice on the other side of the phone sounded restless, and somewhat in a sour mood.

"I've been busy."

" _Busy?_ I see. Where are you these days?"

"Traveling." Gray replied shortly. He was in no mood to hold a proper conversation.

"Traveling, where?" The voice grew more impatient.

"Why do I need to tell you?" His reply came almost as annoyed.

"Because I want to know. Why won't you tell me? Is it because you're lying?"

"No. Because I don't see a reason to tell you what I'm doing with my life."

"And since when did that become a thing between us?"

"I have to go." Gray's patience was running low. He had no intention of losing control over his emotions and let Lucy see any of it.

"You're with Lucy, aren't you?"

"..."

"Bullseye."

"And what if I am? It doesn't have anything to do with you!" He finally spoke, now completely irritated as he had a hard time keeping his voice down.

"You're in the town and you did not even bother to give me a fucking call! And the next thing I know, you are getting all cozy with my ex!"

"Are you even listening to yourself right now? Dude, grow up! What I do with my life is none of your business! And what she does with her life is even more so! You have no right to butt in and point fingers, Natsu. And don't you fucking dare address her like that, she has a name!"

"I only need to know how long you two have been like this!"

"Oh so you're just worried about your pathetic ego because you think we were seeing each other behind your back, while you had left her hanging for fucking months so that you could have fun with your other countless girlfriends? What are you? Nine?"

"I just want an answer! Yes or no?"

"No! Is your shitty ego satisfied now?"

"..."

"I'm hanging up. But I'll say this, Natsu." Gray glanced back at Lucy again. Making sure that he didn't have her attention, he continued, " _You had your chances._ And you threw it all away. Now if you have even a little bit of pride left, _stay out of her way._ "

* * *

"So did you get to fix a date?" Lucy asked as Gray finally came back from the balcony and sat down on the table.

"Date?" A hint of confusion was visible on his features. It took him a few seconds to realize that she was referring to the call. Which she believed to be from his work, just like he told her. "Uh yeah! The date for the exhibition. No, we- we haven't set it yet. But I plan to see the director soon and do it after a face to face meeting, you know?"

"That sounds reasonable." Lucy smiled. She put down a plate in front of him before sitting down across him with her own.

"This pasta looks good!" Gray grinned. He hoped she wouldn't ask about the call anymore. He hated lying to her and the fact that he was a bad liar at the first place, did not help.

"Yeah, I chose to go with the classic recipe. It's my most favorite among the thousands of other ways that you can cook pastas in." Gray took a mouthful of it, only to have his face lit up in ecstasy.

"So this is what Heaven tastes like..." Lucy giggled at his over exaggerating reactions.

"Stop it, you." She said lightly hitting his hand that was resting on the table.

"I can't help it!", came Gray's protest.

The rest of their meal mostly passed by silence, except for the small insignificant remarks now and then.

Lucy grabbed the plates when they were finished and brought them to the sink. Where Gray was more than ready to wash them up. He felt guilty for letting her cook all by herself. Despite her telling him that he wouldn't have been of any use anyway, because he didn't know how to cook anything besides pancakes. To which he sulked for a few moments, until she changed the topic again.

She leaned on to the kitchen counter watching him whistling away as he worked his 'magic' on the dishes.

"Say, when are you leaving?" Lucy asked casually, despite having the question bother her for a while. Gray stopped whistling but continued doing his work as he considered the question for a moment. "It's not like... I mind your company. You've been such a great help..." Lucy's voice slowed down. She looked away from him as her gaze fell on the floor. She held her other arm, rubbing it gently without giving the action much of a thought.

"I know." Gray said, trying to make her feel comfortable. He turned around to face her with a smile. Lucy looked up, finding a little bit of confidence from his smile.

"You have work and stuff to do. I feel bad for keeping you here.."

"It's not like you told me to stay. I'm doing this on my own accord."

"Yeah, but... I'm fine now... And it might sound selfish, but-"

"Are you really fine?"

"...I'm better"

"That doesn't comfort me."

"Gray. You have a life of your own. You can't be with me all day and night, helping me out like this. It's true that since I am Loke's personal assistant, I don't have to visit the office in his absence. But I still work most of the day and... and cry the rest of the night. And yet you never complain. I don't like this... It's like I'm- I'm using you-"

"Lucy." Gray took a few steps forward, now standing right in front of her. He was close. And maybe even too close for her comfort. He brought a hand up and cupped her cheek. His hand was icy cold, probably from the fact that he was standing outside on the balcony for almost an hour. She shivered under his touch, but couldn't think of it as something she disliked. "Look into my eyes. And tell me _for real..._ that you don't need me here."

His voice was gentle yet authoritative. She could not look away from him. His dark red eyes held a kind of emotion she couldn't quiet recognize. It was almost like she was looking into the eyes of a stranger. And at that moment Lucy realized something. She knew almost nothing about the man standing in front of her. They had been friends for over seven years. Yet she barely even knew about his family and background.

 _And there she was, standing in front of that same man, allowing him to look into the deepest parts of her._

Her mind seemed to shut down at the realization. She could not think of anything. Why was she doing this again? Why was she letting another man break her walls? Did she not learn her lesson already? She always saw Gray as a good friend. And yet as he touched her at that moment, the thin line of friendship that existed between them was being blurred.

 _No_. _It couldn't be like this._ She had no intention of ruining another friendship, by opening up her heart and letting it shatter to pieces.

Lucy averted her gaze away from him. She then gently pushed his hand away from her cheek. And decided to take a few steps back, except she was pressed against the kitchen counter.

"I am fine, Gray. I can handle on my own. Please don't compromise with your life for my sake."

Gray stared at her in partial shock. He was at a loss for words. Her silent message got through to him clearer than he'd have liked to admit. In the past two weeks, he had started thinking that the distance between him and her was getting shorter. Could he have been wrong this whole time? Just how naively positive was he to misunderstand her kindness as a sign for acceptance?

There was a long moment of silence between the two. It had started getting even more uncomfortable for Lucy, until Gray finally sighed. He stepped back from her, creating enough space between them. All the while not daring to look at her directly, in an attempt to hide the pained expression that was possibly showing on his face. Even though he knew that he was doing an awful job at that.

"Alright. If you are so sure about it, I will leave. But..."

"...y-yeah?"

"That doesn't mean that I won't be calling you several times a day to check up on you. And you have to make a promise. That you will call me right away, if something were to happen. And you know what I mean by that _something._ "

Yes she knew. She knew that he was talking about her breakdowns. What else could it be? She did not want to, but if that would make him leave and continue with his own life, then why not. She would just have to make sure to not completely lose control of herself again. Something she did not bother to think about up until then. Because he never gave her the chance to. He had been so close to her, always ready to help. _Always._

"Yeah. I promise."

"Alright." Gray gave her a smile. He then walked out of the kitchen and started gathering up his things. Phone. Charger. Keys. Watch. Blazer. Shoes. He picked up all, one after another while Lucy watched him silently. She looked like she had something else to say but decided not to.

Once Gray had all his things, he turned back to Lucy.

"Don't forget our promise."

"I won't." She managed to give him a smile and followed him on his way out. Gray bid her farewell one last time, before walking out of the apartment. She watched him leave and once he disappeared into the stairs, she slowly shut the door.

The next thing Lucy knew, she was on the floor, pressed against the door as tears for no particular reason clouded her vision.

 _I'm too scared to give it another chance._


	6. Author's Corner 1

**Author's Corner**

I'll be doing these Author's Corners, after every 5 or 10 chapters. Here I will answer all your questions that you might be having in the previous chapters, and also showing my gratitude to my most active readers so far. Because I don't want to include these in the main story and take up a huge portion of the chapter. And no, I won't be giving you guys any sneak peeks into the future chapters. It's just me talking to you all and clearing up possible confusions.

 **To a guest reader in the reviews:** First, relax. This story is only getting started. You'll have your questions answered one after another as the story progresses. If I were to explain everything at the same time, this story would have been more than over. I believe that the charm of a good drama is creating questions and leaving them to be answered later on. This is a **_drama_ romance** after all. But, I'll answer some of your questions and I hope they help a bit.

 **-** About the whole thing with Gray moving too fast in _Chapter 3 - Distraction_ : His actions are only being justified by how he feels for Lucy (which I've mentioned briefly in the prologue). His confusion in the previous chapter ( _Chapter 2 - All the "Why"s_ ) came from Mirajane saying that he was the "only one who can". It confused him since he believed that if he hadn't found Lucy that night and not seen her at her weakest, she wouldn't have let him help at the first place. The idea comes from him not being particularly close to her up until then.

 **-** As for Lucy, she is an emotional mess, not capable of having a clear view of how she is supposed to feel or react to certain things. She's become really sensitive emotionally, and thus is being caught off guard pretty easily. That in no way means that she is opening herself up to the idea of love again. And I've made it clear in _Chapter 4 - Missed Chances._

 **-** I'll leave all questions regarding Natsu and his behavior, unanswered. 'Cause I'm no fond of spoilers. Neither getting nor giving them. But I'll say this - I have not declared this story to be specifically for either GraLu or NaLu so please don't presume anything yet.

 **To user aesthetic af:** Thank you for your constant support. Your reviews almost immediately after me posting a new chapter really does boost up my self-confidence and that means a lot. I hope you keep having fun with reading this story.

Anyways, yeah. I'll be happy to answer if more of you have questions that are bothering you. Which all will be answered in the next Author's Corner. But I'd like you to avoid asking things that are sure to be answered in the future through the story itself. If you are interested in this story enough, I'd like you to have patience with me. I'm not a straightforward person at writing, and every action I put in this story has a valid reason behind it. :)


	7. Chapter 5 - Regrets

**A/N:** I always seem to have trouble with naming my chapters... If I try to be creative, I end up with a title that has nothing to do with the chapter itself. If I try to match it with the chapter, I just end up with random words. Example: 'Eyes? No this is a romance drama not crime thriller. Door?...a 5 year old could come up with something better. Phone? Wait no that's not the chapter's name, FUCK I REALLY CAN'T FIND MY PHON-...oh It's on my lap! Hmm... Fuck it! I'm gonna name this chapter "this"!' /bff aggressively stops me right before posting/ So where was I going with this? Oh right. A life without my bff is just a series of mistakes.

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Regrets**

 _~I don't wanna steal your freedom_

 _I don't wanna change your mind_

 _I don't have to make you love me_

 _I just wanna take your time-~_

Lucy rummaged through her bag, trying to find the source of the music that was her phone. A hint of annoyance had started showing on her face as a frown replaced the smile she had on not too long ago. She did not want to admit it to herself, but the inside of her bag was as messy as it could possibly get. All thanks to her getting carried away at shopping each time she had the chance.

It took her another few moments, before Lucy finally managed to grab the damn thing among the countless other items. (Some of which she did not even remember buying). A look of accomplishment replaced her frown, only to disappear as soon as she saw the name on the screen. Lucy sighed, but answered the call regardless.

"Gray, this is the third time today and it's only noon."

"I know! I was worried that you wouldn't take the call because of that..."

"Well. It's not like I'll deliberately ignore your call, you know? But I can't say that I'm happy to make you worry so much", said Lucy honestly. She appreciated Gray's efforts to be always there for her. But the guilt of possibly distracting him from his own life was not something she was very fond of. It was the very reason she made him leave her at the first place.

A bitter memory of the day in question flashed in front of her. She did not want to remember the look on Gray's face when he walked away, but she did anyway. It was followed by the realization of the presence of an uncomfortable weight in her chest. And all of a sudden, it was too painful to breathe.

"I just want to make sure that you've eaten." Gray's genuine voice made Lucy snap out of her thoughts. She let out an exasperated sigh.

"That's what we call worrying, Gray."

"Alright alright. You win... So, am I not allowed to worry about you?"

"It's not like that. I am making sure to take care of myself, so there is no reason for you to worry. It's pointless." Lucy knew it was not how one would pay back a friend that was always willing to do so much for them. But she had no other choice. Gray always found a loophole in her words. His willingness to help her never ceased to amaze her. But the last thing she wanted to feel, as an addition to being a complicated emotional mess, was a damsel in distress willing to let anyone enter her heart and do what they please with it.

Gray was not that kind of a person. She knew it better than anything. But she was not willing to take any risks.

"I decide what's pointless for me, Lucy." His reply came just as determined as hers. Something that she was half-expecting from how much she'd gotten to know Gray recently.

"I'm not taking that right away from you. I just want you to stop worrying."

"Fine. I won't worry. But you've eaten, right?"

"Yeah, I have. Because unlike what you might think, I am a grown-up woman, Gray. I won't forget to take care of myself."

"Okay, okay. I promise this is the last time I'm calling you today." There was a hint of sadness in Gray's voice. It did not go unnoticed by Lucy. But the fact that he would be sad at all for not getting to look out for her, confused her.

"Alright, now get back to work. You have a big event coming up."

"Yeah, the exhibition. I guess I have no other choice... Take care, Lucy. And don't forget to ea-"

"I won't skip dinner, don't worry." Lucy smiled a little, hoping that he could hear it in her voice and relax a bit. She knew he was doing it for her sake only. But she wished he didn't invest so much of his time on her. It was not worth it. Not in her eyes, at least.

* * *

"He really doesn't know how to take it easy." A smile followed the statement as the owner of the voice leaned forward peering into Lucy's face with a hint of amusement. Her dark scarlet hair shone under the sunlight entering the small shop from the large glass screen beside them.

"I wish he did though. It's been a week since he left and there hadn't been a single day when he didn't call me multiple times to see how I was doing."

"He just cares about you." Erza told her, maintaining the same smile.

"I know. But even so, I feel like he's trying too hard.. Though-... are you really okay with eating this many cakes, Erza? Your wedding is coming up soon." Lucy sweatdropped internally at the sight of the several empty plates in front of the scarlet head.

"It's okay. If he can't handle me at my worst, he can't handle me at my best." Erza smiled as she straightened back up to take another bite of her favorite dessert.

"I sometimes wonder which is more important to you. Cake or Jellal." There was no response to her remark from Erza. And she guessed it was because she was too lost savoring the taste of the cake. Lucy gave her a defeated smile before relaxing in her seat.

They were inside a newly opened cafe. The bitter aroma of coffee hit her senses every time she took a deep breath. It was relaxing and Lucy couldn't be more thankful. She's had a busy week, after all. Loke had gotten back but this time he brought a bunch of new projects with him, courtesy of his father who wasn't all that pleased with his constant holidays. She wished that the Chairman knew how the one who was actually getting busy with all that work wasn't his son, but her.

She was glad to have Erza call her and ask to hang out. Even though Lucy wondered why despite being so busy with her wedding preparations, Erza went through the trouble of calling her. And on a Monday morning, no less. She had to get another colleague to take her position at work, because Erza did not like hearing 'no'. Lucy tried to get Erza to state the reason a couple times but the latter was too busy eating.

She was lost in her thoughts until a drop of water hit the glass screen beside her, only to be soon followed by a downpour.

"The weather said that it will be a sunny day today." Erza remarked, finally looking up from her dessert that was nowhere to be seen anymore.

"I try to not trust those reports. You never know with the weather these days." Lucy replied without moving her gaze from the hazy vision outside. It was almost unbelievable how the sky was so clear not even a few minutes ago.

"You're right. I am glad I parked the car right outside. We should be able to get to it without soaking wet."

"Yeah. But, what exactly did you call me here for? I tried asking before but you were too busy eating." Lucy finally looked back at Erza, clearly not willing to wait anymore.

"Oh, about that. I wanted to ask you something." The vague look in Erza's eyes turned into a serious one. That's when the realization of what it could be, hit Lucy. Knowing that there was no point avoiding the subject, she just smiled urging the older woman to continue.

"Natsu will be at the wedding." Erza stated the obvious, yet there was a sense of hesitation in the way she spoke. Lucy did not look surprised.

"I know."

"Are you okay with it? I don't want you to miss my wedding. I hate him for what he did to you. I really do but-" Lucy sighed. The smile on her lips disappeared. There was a hint of sadness in her eyes and Erza couldn't help the guilt creeping up her senses from having to put her friend through such a dilemma.

"I won't ask you to choose between me and him, Erza. Despite everything, I am aware that he's like a little brother to you. And I can't deny that the reason I know you at the first place...is because of him." Lucy paused, unwillingly remembering the innocent excited smile on his face when he introduced her to Erza.

 _That smile... That goddamn smile._

"...what happened between us has nothing to do with you and Jellal. I can't miss your most important day for not being able to keep my feelings in check." She touched Erza's hand with an encouraging smile. "I will be there and I will make the most out of it."

Erza seemed to have relaxed at her words. It did not mean that she was not worried still. But she admired Lucy for putting up such a brave front and did not want to ruin her efforts.

"Thank you, Lucy."

* * *

The minute Lucy stepped back into the office, an anxious Loke rushed to her looking like the world just ended.

"Lucy, you're back!" He was panting so hard that for a moment Lucy wondered if he was being chased by something.

"Loke, you look like a mess. What happened?" She asked hoping he didn't do anything weird again. She already had enough work and was in no position to look after her boss. But she couldn't ignore him either. A huge portion of her job included babysitting him after all. Yet despite constantly suffering, she couldn't help but worry. It was very rare for Loke to look so disheveled in the office where the employees going through a monotonous routine, were so ready to start a gossip.

" _Ari_ is here! I mean, Aries. I call her Ari sometimes and.. Wait, that's not the point! I want you to pretend to be my new girlfriend so she leaves me alone." Lucy's eyes twitched in annoyance. She felt stupid for worrying about this idiot. Of course it would be something as ridiculous as that. Yet it was so important to him that he did not care about his position in the company.

It took Lucy everything to not land a punch on his pretty face.

"No." She said bluntly before stepping aside and passing him to reach her desk.

"But Lucy, this is serious! She really won't leave me alone!" Loke followed her like a desperate puppy.

"It must be so easy for you to play with a girl's feelings!" Lucy said in irritation, ignoring the fact that her personal feelings were mixed into that statement despite the difference in their positions.

"It's not like that! I approached her because she was sad and no gentleman can ignore a beautiful lady's tears..." Loke said with an honorable gesture and a cocky smile, momentarily forgetting his previous worries.

"How does that make any sense when that gentleman himself is making the lady in question cry now?"

"I can't handle her, she is not my type." Loke pouted with a childish attitude. Which only annoyed Lucy further.

"If you can't handle someone's feelings, don't make them give those to you at the first place!" Loke looked taken aback for a moment. But it did not take him long to relax as he realized that he went to the wrong person at the wrong time. She wasn't the type to show her emotions at work. Thus it was very easy for him to forget the fact that she had more normal feelings than him.

"You're right... I am sorry, Lucy. I just-"

"It's okay."

Lucy took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She did not know why she was getting so heated up about something that was very usual around Loke. He had a new girlfriend by his side almost every other week. And she never complained about it before, as long as his relationships did not get in the way of his work. Especially after knowing that neither him nor the women expect a commitment.

A relationship was more like a passing hobby for them. She knew it all and yet she couldn't keep her frustration down.

"I should be the one saying sorry. I got carried away.." Lucy told him honestly. She hated taking out her stress on someone else. Loke had nothing to do with her personal life. She reminded herself that they lived two completely different lives. He was her employer and did not deserve that kind of treatment."If you really want me to help, just tell me that you can't concentrate at work because of her. As your personal assistant I need you to concentrate, so I'll tell her to stop."

"Well when you put it that way-..."

"Mr. Loki! There you are." A young intern made his way to where Loki and Lucy stood beside her desk. Both their attention were now turned to him. The man gave Lucy a smile. He then turned to Loke. "Lady Aries just left the building. She asked me to give you a message. 'I don't care about you anymore. Idiiiiiotttt'."

"You didn't have to stretch the last word out like her." Loke said with an embarrassed smile.

"It looks like your problem got solved by itself." Lucy offered him a smile of her own before getting a hold of a file that was lying unattended on her desk. "Now I want you to focus a little more on work. Please go through this file, Mr. Loke." She spoke with a sense of respect, just like one would speak to their boss. The reason for the sudden change being the intern who watched their exchange with a look of interest.

Despite Loke's personality, he was still the Executive Director of the company. And she always tried to make sure that people wouldn't forget that just because he did not act like how a leader should, most of the time.

Loke reluctantly took the file from Lucy, before nodding with a small smile. "I will."

He did not stop for anymore idle chat, something that Lucy was half expecting him to do. The intern had walked away by then, with a small bow as he took his leave. So Lucy had no reason to be mad if Loke did decide to laze around, unless he spoke those three words. _'You do it'_. The phrase came out of his mouth more often than not, after all.

"Come to the meeting room at sharp four. I have something that I need to discuss with you." Loke gave her a serious look. He still had a smile on his lips but Lucy got the silent message that he was not fooling around this time.

"Alright."

* * *

"May I come in, Mr. Loke?" Lucy knocked twice on the frosted glass door leading inside the meeting room. She then pushed it open slightly and peeked inside.

Loke looked focused at some papers in his hand but he glanced up for a moment, just long enough to acknowledge her presence and tell her to enter.

Lucy walked up to her seat that was right beside his. She turned on her laptop that she had brought along, prepared to do whatever he had in mind. Emails, notes, brainstorming for the next presentation, all he needed was to tell her which.

"Oh no, it's okay. There's no need for that." Loke smiled at her gently. He put down the papers that he had in his hand and turned to face her completely. Lucy looked confused for a second but it disappeared almost as soon as it showed. "Did you get the verified documents?"

"Yeah, I did. Good job there. It came to me faster than I expected." she smiled back, pulling her hands back from the keys on her laptop.

"Thanks, I didn't wanna disappoint you more." he told her honestly. She felt a sense of relief at his words. Only to wish that he thought the same thing more often. If a project were to fail under his supervision, it wouldn't be just her that he'd risk letting down, for not putting as much efforts as he could have.

"I asked you to come for a more personal reason." Loke continued with the same smile that he had on, in much contrast to how Lucy's expression changed the moment he used the word _'personal'_.

"Loke, I'm not willing to play the role of your girlfri-", she started but was stopped by him interrupting her.

"No. I wasn't talking about that. Well... I am not sure where to start." Loke seemed thoughtful for a moment before continuing, "...Lucy, we'd known each other for how many years now?"

"Six, I think. We met in college. You were a year ahead of me", came Lucy's reply as she looked clearly confused about where he was going with this.

"And for how long have you worked in this company by my side?"

"Three?" She had sort of lost count of exactly how long it had been since she was chosen for this job by Loke's father, the Chairman.

Despite not remembering the amount of time that had passed, Lucy still had a vivid memory of being nervous enough to mess up the interview. It came off as a huge surprise when she learned that she was actually accepted for this job. She remembered double checking the acceptance email, before calling the office and checking if it was really her that they intended to send the email to.

To this date Lucy couldn't find a proper reason why the Chairman chose her for the job, when her interview was a mess on a whole new level. But she decided to stop wasting her time on thinking about it. Since the one time she mustered up the courage to ask the Chairman himself, he brushed her off saying that he did not remember.

"We'd known ourselves for six years and worked together for three." Loke's words pulled Lucy out of her thoughts and realizing that he wasn't finished yet, she decided to wait until he was. "You know all about me. My habits, my moods, my way of life... There's nothing that you don't. Yet I barely know about the things going on in your life."

Lucy's eyes widened for a moment. She looked slightly shocked and hoped that he wouldn't be trying to talk about what she thought he was.

"Loke... let's not-", she tried to stop him from going on any further but he just shook his head and continued, interrupting her again.

"It's not about what happened a few weeks ago. I just had this moment of realization from how you reacted to my request earlier. The fact that despite knowing you for so many years, I barely had any idea about your feelings. I-...well I am not the smartest man in the world when it comes to feelings and emotions. So I want you to tell me. I want you to let me know how you feel. I want to understand you better."

"This is too sudden..."

"I know, but I assure you that I have a proper reason behind this. However, before telling you the said reason, I need to know your current feelings."

"My current feelings? I don't know what you mean, Loke. I am fine. If I weren't, I wouldn't be here in front of you right now." Lucy gave him an unwavering smile, yet it was fake enough for him to notice.

"You're anything but fine, Lucy."

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I don't. That's why I'm asking you. I don't want to force you to talk about your feelings, but at the same time... I want to know."

"You're contradicting yourself." Lucy let out a sad chuckle. "I think we're done here. I should get going", she snapped her laptop shut and grabbed it on her way out of the seat.

"Lucy, wait! If I don't get my answers, I won't be able to concentrate at work!" That was Loke's last resort. And he prayed to the celestial spirits that it wouldn't earn him a punch instead of what he actually wanted.

Regardless of what was coming for him, Lucy stopped in her tracks. It took her a few moments to finally speak. "You're unfair..."

"I know." He watched her taking a seat again, this time leaving a few ones empty between them. She needed the space and he did not mind.

"...I can't entertain your curiosity but I can answer a couple questions." Lucy said, with her eyes fixed on her hands grasping each other on her lap.

"Okay", was his simple reply. "Tell me, how you've been recently."

"Busy?"

"No, that's not what I mean. How have you been when you're not busy working?"

"I...don't know, honestly."

"Are you confused about your feelings?"

There was a moment of silence. Lucy looked lost in thoughts and Loke did not mind giving her the time that she needed. He was willing to wait for her to speak, regardless of how long it took her to do so. He knew he was asking too much from her. She was the type of person who always prioritized what others would feel.

It was rare for her to think about herself and act on her feelings. That's why he was very surprised when she got upset at him after he told her that he wanted to get rid of his girlfriend-...no, his ex.

He hated to admit it, but he had almost taken her efforts and emotional strength for granted.

"It's not confusion...it's more like- like... I don't understand how I should feel." Loke noted a hint of sadness in both her eyes and voice. He nodded, urging her to continue. "...Sometimes, there's too many emotions at once. It gets overwhelming. And sometimes...there's none at all."

"You can't find a middle point?"

"No."

Loke knew that he wasn't getting any more out of her. Even though he wished that she'd share more of her with him. It wasn't like Loke wanted to know her better because he felt a certain way towards her. He just did not like the fact that she chose to suffer alone, despite having so many people around her who were ready to help. Even he himself. Because a friend like Lucy was too precious to be taken for granted.

The thought was followed by a sudden surge of unknown emotions. It made him blurt out before he even had the chance to consider his words. "Do you regret loving hi-"

"I don't." Loke was not expecting an answer to that. He wanted to hit himself when he realized how he ended up asking her something that he said he wouldn't. And having her feel the same way as well, wouldn't have surprised him the least. But that was not the case. Lucy now had a distant look in her eyes as she continued.

"I don't regret falling for him. I don't regret letting him in. At first I thought that I did. But...when I tried to confirm that in my head, I realized it wasn't the case. I don't regret anything that we had."

"Lucy..."

 _"However, what I do regret is not realizing that it wasn't forever."_

Lucy finally looked up at him, giving him a sad smile. "I can't help thinking that maybe if I did, I would have been able to save myself a whole lot of trouble."

"I see your point." Loke couldn't help but give her a small smile in response. That was all he could do at that moment. Because he had a feeling that the only reason she actually talked about it, was to show him that she wasn't letting her feelings restrict her. And no, she did not need his help either - not in the stubborn selfless kind of way, but in the way where she wanted to give herself a break from having someone else influence her emotions.

Lucy was really impressive, after all. He couldn't help the admiration growing in him for her. For the first time in six years of them knowing each other, Loke finally felt like he connected to her in some way. He didn't want her to open up her heart to him or let down her guard and let him in. He just wanted to understand her more. Which he succeeded a bit at.

It was unusual for Loke to feel that way for someone. But with Lucy, nothing about it really felt unnatural.

"So...what's the reason you were speaking of?" She finally asked, snapping him back out of his thoughts and into the reality.

"Oh. Yeah, right. About that.."

 _..._

When Loke was done talking, Lucy let out a heavy breath, something she did not realize to be holding.

"I see." She spoke after a couple seconds of considering her own words.

"Think about it, okay?"

"I will." Lucy gave him a smile before grabbing her things again. She walked out of her seat without any interruption this time. However, she stopped at the door, and turned to him for a brief moment. "Thank you, Loke", she muttered just loud enough to reach him. And it did. He gave her a pleased smile.

"A gentleman is always looking for a way to make his lady happy." He winked at her, to which she let out a small chortle and disappeared from his sight.


	8. Chapter 6 - Unplanned Feelings

**A/N:** It's been a month since my last update, LOL. Not an excuse, but I'm a busy working lady who decided to catch up on anime/manga during my short breaks, instead of writing. I'll try to update faster from now on, but no promises, sorry~

* * *

 **Chapter 6 - Unplanned Feelings**

"Please be in time for the meeting, day after tomorrow."

"Stop worrying~ I promise I will. Now go home, rest up and enjoy your day off." Loke flashed her a reassuring grin before disappearing into his office cabin with a file in his hand.

Lucy sighed as she started to gather her things to leave. It was decided that she would be on a break the next day. The reason being Loke wanting to check the flow of work without her around. And she understood why. After all, he was completely serious about the proposal he had made to her a couple hours ago. And despite not giving him a proper answer, she had a feeling that he already knew.

Lucy's head was still full of thoughts, which only made focusing at a specific task next to impossible. Getting frustrated at her own self, she finally decided to shake off the unnecessary worries for an unseen future. She reminded herself that it was only going to get in the way of her present. After feeling better about her situation, Lucy double checked all her completed tasks for the day before saying goodbyes to her colleagues. It was getting dark when she finally stepped out of the warmth of the tall building into the chilly air.

Despite having a cold shiver run down her spine from a sudden gust of wind, the small smile on her lips did not waver. The sun was starting to set at the horizon and regardless of the tall structures of the hustling and bustling city, the beautiful sunset filled Lucy with a sense of admiration.

It had been a while since she found herself being aware of the things actually going on around her. The familiar sound of car engines, the fleeting conversations of the passersby, the nearby buildings lighting up one after another for the approaching night...it was all so distant to her for the last few weeks.

The realization that she was starting to feel like herself again, slowly but surely- was something she couldn't help but be proud of. Lucy couldn't bring herself to think that she was completely fine yet. But she reassured herself that despite being tiny, it was still an improvement. She was going to be okay.

Lucy thought back to her conversation with Loke. His sudden interest and concern for her did come off as a surprise, but the fact that she herself gave him a chance to understand her was a bigger one.

She didn't know where it came from all of a sudden, but she did not regret it. Letting him hear her exact thoughts was a bit strange, as someone who never happened to be on the talking side in their boss-secretary/good old friends relationship. But Lucy knew that she did not hate the feeling.

Mostly because he was genuinely curious and wanted to know her better. He showed no hint of pity when she talked about her feelings, instead, she saw relief in those glimmering hazel eyes. And for Lucy, there's nothing she could appreciate more.

Realizing that she had subconsciously started walking towards her apartment, Lucy stopped in her tracks. She remembered Levy's message the previous night. Her bluenette best friend sounded pretty excited about a new book that was published recently. Hoping to get some reading done to help clear her head more, Lucy turned around and started walking the opposite direction.

The city library was a few many blocks ahead of her office. And instead of taking a ride there, Lucy decided to walk. After all, she was in no hurry.

* * *

Lucy was greeted with a warm smile from the pink haired elderly woman, sitting at the check out counter.

"Oh, won't you look at that? It seems forever since you last paid a visit, Lucy dear. How have you been?"

"Hello, Miss Porlyusica." Lucy approached the counter with an equally loving smile. "I'm sorry it's been so long. Work is pretty stressful these days. How are you? The last time I saw you, you had a terrible back pain." Lucy gave her a concerned look, but got a dismissive wave of a hand in return.

"You young children worry about the simplest things. I am still strong enough to not let a mere back pain beat me." Porlyusica was right. Lucy would not be surprised if the older woman even beat her at a round of hand wrestling. Despite her age - which was one of the biggest mysteries Lucy had come across, Porlyusica was brimming with eternal glow and confidence.

She continued, "I'm more worried about you. You look so much thinner, my dear. Have you been eating properly at all? If you want long-lasting beauty like me, you should take more care of your skin. And tell your hopeless boss to come see me. I'll give him a proper earful for making you work so hard while he's probably out having fun with a bunch of unworthy women."

Lucy smiled sheepishly as she couldn't help feeling a little bad for Loke. His reputation was as bad as ever.

"Thank you for looking out for me, Miss Porlyusica. But trust me, I'm fine. I'd just been on a strict diet recently. With Erza's wedding coming up and all, you know."

Porlyusica grimaced, clearly not looking pleased with the younger woman's excuse. If one thing she knew best about Lucy, it was the fact that this kind and mostly selfless child was a horrible liar. But she decided to not push the topic further.

"Is that so? I hope you remember that dieting is just another word for missing out on important nutrients." She placed a hand on Lucy's head, giving her a gentle pat. "Take care of yourself more, okay?" A smile followed the statement and Lucy acknowledged the warmth in her chest from the gesture. She didn't admit it out loud, but she knew that if Layla, her mother were to be alive, the warmth wouldn't have been any different.

"Thank you, and I will."

* * *

Lucy roamed through the countless shelves on the second floor of the library. Her eyes gleaming with a hint of excitement. She had already gotten the book Levy was fangirling about, but it wasn't like her to walk out of one of her most favorite places on earth with a single one. Knowing that exact same thing, Porlyusica had recommended her a long list of recent publishes, most of them belonging to her favorite genre - thriller/mystery.

She stopped in front of the section that held books from the said genre. Her eyes that seemingly danced in the soft light of a nearby reading lamp, moved over the titles that she had already read. She recalled a few of the names that she was recommended and a smile curled up her lips as she spotted them one after another. Lucy took out each of the books that she found until her hand moved to the last one; where it stopped as it brushed against another hand. Blinking in slight surprise and confusion, Lucy looked up at the owner of the hand, not really moving hers from the spot.

A slim, pale looking male stood beside her, giving her a blank look. His spiky black hair with white tips hid the dim light from the reading lamp behind him as his body cast a shadow over hers. His dark and somewhat lifeless eyes stared at her, before they blinked as if in realization of something. A few seconds passed, until he finally looked away and pulled the book they both were aiming for.

"Well, I'll be taking this." He told her with a small smile that did not reach his eyes. Lucy finally snapped from her staring. Her gaze moved to the book in his hand before settling on him again. She did not stare this time, but rather gave him a genuine smile, unlike his.

"That's okay. I've already gotten quite a few." She told him honestly, noticing how there was only one copy left of the title.

"Ah. But I kinda feel bad now." The man said in a cold tone with the same dishonest smile. His words felt empty, yet there was something almost alluring about the way he spoke them. "I would like to make up for it."

"Oh no, that's fine, really. I should get going now." Not having a good feeling about the situation, Lucy gave him a sheepish smile and decided that it was better for her to stay away from him. She did not really understand why but something told her that nothing good would be coming out of getting involved with him.

"Is that how you reply to someone's kindness?" Lucy had started to turn away when his words stopped her in her tracks. There was something threateningly demanding in the way he spoke. She looked back at him, to find a sickly sweet smile on his lips.

Observing her expression carefully, the man spoke again, "Ah, you seem kind of freaked out. Looks like I did it again." He chuckled softly before continuing. "I'm no good with socializing with others, you see. So I often come off as rude or creepy. I'm sorry." Lucy couldn't fault his statement. After all, that's exactly the vibe he was giving her.

"Now that you explained it, I don't mind really. We all have our flaws, I guess." She replied nervously. Her brain was screaming at her to get out of there. But thanks to the guilt of probably making him feel worse about his social skills, Lucy couldn't comply.

"Thank you for understanding. I'm Macbeth, by the way. And you are-?" Macbeth held out his hand to Lucy with the same sweet smile that held no sign of genuineness, much to her discomfort.

"It's Lucy." She replied regardless, taking his offered hand and giving it a gentle shake. His hand was colder than an average person's body temperature and it made a shiver run down her spine, before both of them let go. Lucy wondered if he was strolling out in the cold for too long without much warm clothes on, as the lingering sensation of his coldness remained fresh on her skin for longer than she was comfortable with.

"Lucy...That's a nice name. Say Lucy, are you a fan of that author?" Macbeth pointed to the first book from the small stack that she was carrying, supported by both her arms. Lucy took a quick glance at the book in question, before turning her gaze back to him.

"Yeah, I like his writing style. He isn't a mainstream author yet, but his stories can easily get the readers deeply involved." Lucy spoke with a hint of respect, forgetting a bit of her previous nervousness as she felt distracted by the sudden question.

"You can't be more right. I am a huge fan of his work too. I have a decent collection of his books and many more, at my rehearsals room since my apartment is a little too small for all that. I am a huge nerd, you see?" Macbeth laughed in a low voice, seeming a bit flustered at his confession. Lucy giggled softly, finally feeling a bit more relaxed from their sudden easy-going conversation.

"It sounds like you'll get along really well with my best friend. She loves reading too and she has all kinds of books, regardless of the genres and time of their publication." Lucy remembered the all too familiar glimmer in Levy's eyes, every time she found a book she liked.

"Don't you like reading too? I'd like to get along with you as well." a smirk followed the statement and Lucy blinked at the unexpected words. She hadn't seen it coming. And he did not sound like he was messing around.

"Did I say something wrong?" Macbeth gave her a seemingly innocent look this time, and Lucy shook her head trying to dismiss the idea.

"I was just caught off guard, is all." She said honestly, to which his smile was back on his lips.

"I see. I'm sorry if that sounded weird. I just really like it when I come across people with similar interests as me, especially in books. It makes me think how the meeting could have been fate...or something corny like that, haha." He shrugged with a half-hearted laugh. "So back to my previous offer- I'd like to make it up to you for this book so... is it okay if we chat a little more over a cup of coffee?"

Lucy looked troubled for a second. Despite not wanting to agree to his offer, she couldn't bring herself to decline it. He was being really nice to her, even though she told him that she was fine about him taking the book. He also showed genuine interest in talking to her about their similar interests in books.

She stole a quick glance at Macbeth. He was patiently waiting for her answer with a seemingly normal smile this time. As he had probably already figured out how his passionless smiles were making her uncomfortable. Despite that, she did not like the vibes she was getting from him, yet she disliked the thought of judging him based on first impressions only. After all he did tell her that he was not good at socializing.

Thinking about it another few moments, Lucy finally looked back at him with a smile. "Alright."

* * *

It did not take too long for Lucy to find herself inside a café across the street to the library. It had gotten completely dark by then. The outside world was beautifully lit up with the street lamps and she realized how it had been a while since she had stayed out that late.

Lucy and Macbeth waited for the order the latter had placed for both of them, as she listened to him talking about a recent book that he had read. It was about an aspiring singer who soon found himself lost in the depths of fame. The topic for the conversation rose from Macbeth telling her about his band that he was the bassist of, unknowingly clearing her silent question of having a rehearsals room to stock his collection of books in.

"I did not realize it until I reached the last page, but I ended up reading a whole 500+ pages in less than twelve hours." He said with a flustered shrug. "I wish I was that motivated at music too. I often find myself unmotivated. Today was the same so I thought of picking up a few books."

"Reading is great, but I hope you find your motivation for music as well. Despite not feeling like playing, you sound like you really love doing it. I mean, after listening to you the least I can tell is that you're very dedicated to what you do, regardless of how you feel." Lucy responded with a smile. Maybe her instincts were wrong after all. Macbeth did not feel like a weird guy anymore. In fact, he was fun to talk to, and was pretty talkative despite coming off as the semi-silent type at first.

"Thanks, I appreciate it. Though I'm not sure if that's a snarky remark on my obsession for reading or a genuine compliment." Macbeth chuckled.

"A little bit of both, I think." Lucy said, enjoying their conversation- as she added, "But I like reading too, and I see nothing wrong with obsessing over it."

The waiter came up to their table with their order. He placed two cups, one black coffee and one caramel cappuccino in front of Lucy and Macbeth respectively, before walking back.

"I really wanted you to try the crêpes this place serves. They're heavenly!" Macbeth remarked with a disappointed tone.

"I'm sorry, I happen to be pretty full today." Lucy gave him a regretful smile as she took a sip from her cup. The slight bitterness of the black coffee tingled her tongue while the fresh aroma overwhelmed her senses. It was a nostalgic feeling, as she remembered how she had been in a similar shop with Erza that afternoon.

"So, can we come here another day for the crêpes?" He watched her with a knowing smile, pulling Lucy out of her thoughts and leaving her a little surprised.

"We'll see about that, I guess.." She said, not sure about what else to say. Sure she was having a fun time talking to him, but it did not change the fact that she barely knew the man sitting across her.

"That's not a 'no', at least. I'm satisfied with that." Macbeth laughed, seeming a little amused at her reaction. Wanting to stop him from making her feel more flustered than she already was, Lucy thought of a quick change of subject. "Do you visit this place often?"

Macbeth leaned forward slightly, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "Sometimes, when I am not accompanied by anyone. I have some pretty clingy _friends_ , you see. It's rare for me to have some time to myself. So I come here to read and enjoy a hot cup of coffee when I am blessed with those rare moments. I don't like sharing these times with anyone, unless I consider them special." The alluring tone from before was back in his calm voice.

Lucy raised a brow at his emphasis on 'friends' but decided to not approach the topic further. "I see. But, does that mean I'm interrupting your private time? I don't really want to make you feel uncomfortable or something..."

Macbeth stared at her, as she showed genuine concern for him. He blinked a couple times before bursting out laughing. Lucy frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"N-No..it's just- I am the one who asked you to join me for coffee. So I basically shared my private time with you." His laughter slowly died off, as he continued- "The logical response would be bashfulness from the idea of feeling special at that gesture. But instead, you're worried about my alone time." A pleased smile made it's way to his lips, and it was more honest than his previous ones. "Regardless of my social skills, women often find me irresistible. But you couldn't care less, am I right? You really are interesting, after all."

"Um...thanks?" Lucy blinked, the confusion very clear in her eyes, while she seemed unaware of the slight flush on her own cheeks.

"Don't worry, I meant it as a compliment." He smirked slightly, as his thoughts went to his previous intentions for her.

 _That was more than what I asked for._

It wasn't long before the two found themselves lost in a new conversation about another book they both had read, seeming oblivious about their surroundings. And likewise, neither of them noticed the tall, sturdy figure watching them intently from across the street.

* * *

Throwing himself on the bed, Macbeth stared at the empty ceiling above, as his mind went back to the events of the evening. He glanced over at the book lying idly on the small reading table at the middle corner of the room. Narrowing his eyes, he ran his hand through his spiky yet soft locks of hair. The action subconsciously reminding him how his hands weren't cold anymore. With a frown he closed his eyes, wanting to think of something else. However, despite the countless tries, a familiar face kept popping up in front of his mind's eye. The sight of her eyes glowing with innocent excitement as she browsed through the books in front of her, with an equally innocent smile - it was a picture he couldn't erase from his head.

He had approached her without giving it much of a thought. He pretended to be interested in the same book as her and took it before she had the chance, as he hoped that she knew him or his face at least. It would have been a pleasure to see her excitement hit rock bottom from the realization of him being a friend of her ex. Yes, he was an awful man.

But that certainly did not happen. Instead her interesting reactions and ever-changing expressions left him feeling strangely curious. And soon enough he had forgotten about his initial intentions. His knowledge on books from casual reading worked as an excuse for her attention, and for the first time ever, he was glad to choose reading as an escape from his boredom.

Macbeth sighed as he sat up on the bed. He reached for his phone, before scrolling through the contacts to find the new add there. He stared at the oddly matched numbers. A sudden realization that he was starting to lose control over his own thoughts made a weird feeling- uncomfortable yet pleasant at the same time, settle in the pit of his stomach.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a few impatient knocks at the front door. Putting his phone aside, he made his way towards the sound that only got louder and more impatient with each passing moment.

"Mac, I know you're in there! Open the door!" A familiar voice came from behind the door and Macbeth frowned. He sighed, replacing the look of displeasure on his face- from having his personal time interrupted, with an emotionless smile before unlocking the door and pulling it open.

"Have you made it a hobby to bother your friends this late at night now, Natsu?" The salmon haired male's eyes narrowed at his mocking tone.

"Where were you until now?" He asked in a dangerously low voice, keeping his irritation in check for the time being.

"Are you gonna start acting like my guardian or something now?" Macbeth raised a brow. "Well, I need to sleep so, leave." He shrugged, the smile on his lips not wavering.

"Before that-.." Natsu took out his phone, pressed on it a few times before practically shoving it at Macbeth's face. "What's this?"

The latter's eyes widened slightly, but not enough to lose his composure. "That's a photo of me having coffee." He responded coldly.

"With Lucy."

Macbeth chuckled. "Yeah, that's her name, isn't it? Is something wrong-" Before he could finish his sentence he was jerked forward as Natsu sharply pulled on his collar, gripping on it tight enough for him to be unable to move.

"Stay away from her." He glared at the dark haired male with a threatening look.

"You have no right to tell me that." Macbeth spoke calmly, the smile on his face disappearing.

"I don't. But I know you and your loose character. You sweet talk women into sleeping with you before dumping them like nothing." Natsu spoke through gritted teeth. "She is not like your usual bitches, so stay the fuck away!"

"Oh? Who are you talking about here exactly? Me? Or-.. _yourself_?" Macbeth's eyes narrowed as he grabbed both Natsu's arms with his and shoved them off of his collar. "You're telling me not to mess around with a woman that you did the same to? Don't make me laugh."

"I didn't-" Natsu started but sensing his lack of confidence in whatever excuse he was trying to defend himself with, Macbeth cut him off.

"Don't tell me you're suddenly regretting breaking her heart after seeing her doing better than you thought? So you're feeding your ego by trying to play the role of her protector or something? As always, you amuse me, Natsu. But this time, it's _not_ funny."

Macbeth took a few steps closer to him glaring at him darkly. **"Try to order me around again and I won't be as forgiving."**

The two men glared at each other, neither of them wanting to back off, until Natsu finally looked away and sighed.

"Why her?" he asked, his anger subsiding as his voice took a sudden emotionless tone. Macbeth blinked at the abrupt change before stepping back, leaving some space between them.

"Borrowing your words, 'she is not like my usual bitches'." He smirked, and turned his back to the younger male. "Have a good night, and by the way-...thanks for not telling her about me beforehand."

The sound of the door locking finally snapped Natsu out of his trance like state from Macbeth's response. He gritted his teeth, his fists clutched tightly enough for his knuckles to turn pale, as his bangs cast a shadow over his eyes.

 _That's right. I was the one to end everything. And yet I'm the one who hasn't truly let go._

* * *

 **A/N:** Curious about Natsu's behavior? Or Macbeth's "sudden" interests? Or about the past of the main characters? Stay tuned for the next couple chapters, cuz some of your questions will finally be answered~ [That was a very lame preview lmao]


	9. Chapter 7 - Unspoken Truth

**A/N:** I did not have enough time to proofread the last chapter before updating. But I finally got some time and made a couple few subtle changes. If you want, you can check it out. And maybe see if you can spot the differences~?

 **[Random Information]**

 _Age of the characters appeared or were mentioned so far~_

Lucy Heartfilia- 25 | Natsu Dragneel- 25 | Gray Fullbuster- 26 | Loke Celest- 27 | Levy McGarden- 25 | Gajeel Redfox- 26 | Erza Scarlet- 27 | Jellal Fernandes- 29 | Macbeth Night- 27 | Meredy Milkovich- 26 | Sorano Aguria- 26 | Erik Viper- 27 | Porlyusica - It's a mystery~

* * *

 **Chapter 7 - Unspoken Truth**

 _Because I know I don't deserve it. Yet I am the most selfish person you will ever meet._

"Hey, Dad? It's me.

Yup, I'm fine. Uh..are you busy right now?

Oh, okay.

No, it's fine if you're busy.

It's nothing important really, I just called to check on you. I...uh- have someplace to be so I'm hanging up now.

Alright.

I don't know, but I guess I can try to call more often.

Yeah, take care of yourself too. Bye."

The soft sound of the call disconnecting drowned down in the noise of the nearby cars speeding by. Letting out a heavy sigh, the young man's eyes darted down. He leaned over the bridge, staring at his non existent reflection on the surface below. The street lights on the bridge did not do much at illuminating the dark waters under him.

The phone he had tucked inside his jeans pocket suddenly started ringing, breaking his short lived silence. He ignored it at first, at least until a few more calls, when he finally realized that it was not going to stop till he picked up. He knew who it was. After all there was only one person he knew who could be that persistent.

His doubts were confirmed when he saw the name flashing on the dark screen of his phone. He had been trying to avoid talking to her. She was the only person he could never get away lying with. Thinking about it for another brief moment and realizing that he'd have to talk to her sooner or later, he decided to answer her call this time. Bracing himself for what was to come, Natsu finally picked up.

"Hello, Erza. It's been a while."

 _"Natsu. Where are you?"_

"Just hanging out with some friends. You know, club and stuff?"

There was a displeased silence from the other side of the phone. And it lasted too long for Natsu's comfort.

"Erza?"

 _"Stop lying, Natsu. You can't fool me. Where are you?"_

He sighed. She was right. He can't fool her. He never could. Knowing that he lacked the mental strength needed to defend his pathetic lies at that moment, Natsu answered honestly this time.

"I was on my way home."

 _"I see. Then I'll be heading there."_

"What? It's too late right now. Is everything okay, Erza?"

 _"I don't need your concern, Natsu. Not you, of all people."_ Erza replied curtly, before continuing. _"I have some things to talk about."_

 _Of course. Some things to talk about? It's her, isn't it? What or rather- Who else could it be?_

"Erza, I'm tired tonight. Let's talk some other time, alright?" The last thing Natsu wanted anytime soon, was to hear her name again.

 _"I did not ask for your permission, Natsu. I'll be there in twenty minutes."_

* * *

Erza was never late. She had told him that she'd be at his place in twenty minutes. And she was there, even before the time limit was over. He knew from the amount of calls he kept getting as he was getting closer to his apartment. Not wanting to hear her go off at him on the phone itself, Natsu avoided picking it up. It took him some time to force himself to see her. And thanks to that, he was late.

After getting out of the cab at the main street, Natsu fastened his pace, almost breaking into a run. Since the last thing he wanted was to make her more upset than she probably already was. If one thing Natsu regretted the most at that moment, it was not taking his car with him. He would have gotten back much faster if he did.

Knowing there was no point in being disappointed over a past whim, he focused more on preparing himself to face Erza.

Upon finally reaching his apartment building, Natsu slowed down a little as he searched for the keys in the pockets of his jacket while passing by her car parked right beside his. Climbing up the stairs with the said keys, Natsu prayed to the Gods that he wouldn't have to deal with Erza's furious side so late at night for making her wait. He was in no state to have enough patience for calming her down. Worst case scenario, he'd have to call Jellal to come over and help him out.

As Natsu finally reached his floor, unsurprisingly the first thing he noticed was Erza, leaning against the door to his apartment. Letting out a heavy sigh, he approached her with an apologetic look.

"Uh..I'm sorry, did you wait too long?"

"It's okay. I just got here a few minutes ago." Erza replied calmly, leaving him surprised enough to gape at her like a deer in headlights. Ignoring his reaction, Erza straightened up and stepped aside, allowing Natsu to unlock the door and he did not need to be told to comply.

Once inside, Erza took off her coat, leaving it hanging on her right arm while she followed Natsu into the living room. An awkward silence settled between the two as Natsu went into the kitchen to get her something to drink. After watching him leave, she sat down on the couch, not seeming bothered by the lack of conversation. Instead her eyes moved around the overly spacious yet messy room.

Various manga were scattered on the dark wooden floor along with a few coloring pens and an open notepad. The front page of which was full with a familiar sloppy handwriting, the untidy sentences written in different colors.

Natsu came back into the room carrying two full glasses, presumably with tea as he placed one on the table in front of Erza. Taking the glass in her hand, Erza directed her attention to Natsu who sat down on the other couch right across hers.

"You still can't work comfortably anywhere but the floor?" She started, breaking the silence. Natsu shrugged.

"Old habits die hard." He replied simply as he took a sip of his own tea. The cold liquid immediately quenched his dry throat. Erza's eyes narrowed.

"That saying might as well become your catchphrase now."

"I guess I do say that a lot." Natsu sighed, finally looking at her directly. "But you're not here for these pointless small talks, are you?" He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to hear or speak that name. But he had no choice. There was no use trying to get out of this conversation. Erza had him cornered, like she always did. And both of them were well aware of it.

"First, why hadn't you been taking my calls for the last few weeks?" Erza put down her now half-empty glass on the table, before turning her attention back to him.

"As you can see, I've been busy with work." Natsu pointed to the mess on the floor. "And when I'm not working, I'm hanging out with friends."

"And who are these friends?" She asked with a doubtful tone.

"People I can have fun with. You don't know them." He replied shortly with a carefree shrug.

"So you're still trying to insist you're enjoying yourself? Even with that pitiful look on your face?" Natsu visibly flinched at her remark despite trying his best to look calm. Yet it did not go unnoticed by her. And Erza knew she was right on the mark. "I told you to stop lying to me, Natsu."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said, honesty the last thing in his voice. Erza took a deep breath, hoping to keep her frustration in check.

"You know what I'm talking about. I've also heard from Jellal that you're on a short leave from work. You're a voice actor Natsu, and you're working in an industry where news, whether it's a rumor or the truth, travels fast. Did you really think you'll get away lying to me about that?" Her eyes narrowed as her question left him practically squirming with nervousness under her stare. He reminded her of a child getting caught doing something they were told not to do.

"Erza, listen I-" He had started, forcing himself to meet her gaze.

"I met Lucy today." Natsu's voice got caught in his throat. His eyes instantly left hers, his features tensing. "I asked her if she was okay with you being in the wedding. And do you know what she told me?"

Erza wouldn't have been surprised even if Natsu got upset at her and told her to stop at that very moment. But he didn't, giving her a silent opportunity to continue.

"She said she was fine with it." There was a hint of pain in Natsu's face, almost as if he was desperately trying to hold onto something. Erza didn't know what it was but she knew that her words had started to shake the walls he had created around himself.

"Why are _you_ looking like the one in her position? As if you were the one who was played? It was _you_ who broke up with her. Four years, Natsu. You ended a four years long relationship with a woman like Lucy. A relationship that had a proper future." Her voice was calm, but the frustration behind her words were more than evident to Natsu.

"Were you in your right mind? Did you hurt your head before making that choice? What happened? What were you thinking? I knew you had been acting way too differently since we got back in touch but I still never saw that coming. At first I thought the change was all because of your brother's dea-"

"Enough!" Natsu finally spoke. His voice had a painful edge to it as it went beyond his normal volume. He was gritting his teeth, his head hung low as he clutched it with both his hands. "I don't want to hear another word, even if it's you who is speaking them." He said after a short pause, almost in a pleading voice this time. Erza's eyes narrowed, partially in pity while the realization that her suspicions weren't off the mark made her feel plain discouraged.

"It's exactly that, isn't it? It's been three years, Natsu."

"I told you to not say anything!" Natsu spoke again in the same pleading tone despite trying to sound demanding.

Erza sighed. She stood up, leaving her coat at where she was sitting moments ago before walking to him. She sat beside him this time, cautiously placing a hand on his head, running her fingers through his hair in a soothing motion.

"In the past, I disliked it when you used to call me 'mother' jokingly. But I don't mind being one to you right now. So tell me, Natsu. What's going on in that head of yours? Even if you feel like no one understands or will understand you, you will never know until you give them the chance to do so. You need to stop running away." She spoke in a much gentler voice than she ever did to him. Despite initially tensing in her touch, he started to relax as he let her words sunk in.

"I was scared." He spoke minutes later. His voice was shaky and Erza knew he needed to be encouraged to continue.

"Scared of what?" She asked in the same gentle tone, yet with a hint of firmness this time. She was not willing to let him stop there. Not after getting so close to see what kind of fears and insecurities he had stacked up behind those walls of his.

"...of hurting her." Natsu finally said, instantly answering most of her questions. It was all starting to fall together.

"So you ran away before that could happen?" He didn't speak and Erza took his silence as his answer. She was right. "For how long have you been thinking like this?" She felt like she knew the answer to that as well, but a part of her wanted to hear it from him.

"I don't remember. It was...starting to feel like a burden. I wanted-...wanted to be free of that feeling..My head was so full of-...so full of everything, it felt like it would e-explode...It was like-" Natsu struggled with his words, desperately trying to find the proper words and way to express his thoughts. His hands were starting to shake as a sob like sound escaped his lips. And Erza realized that she was pushing him to the edge, to a breaking point where all his walls would be down for once.

"What was it like?" She asked him, regardless of the state he was in. She hated to see him like that, but if she did not do anything at that moment, she doubted she'd have a chance to do anything for him ever again.

For whatever reason, she had managed to catch him off guard tonight. He already seemed like he was emotionally struggling with something. She couldn't know what, but it was a proper time to encourage him to let those emotions out. And she had a feeling that if she missed her chance now- if he shut himself up now, he'd never be able to open up again.

Not to her and not to anyone else. That was something she needed to stop from happening.

There was a long silence- Natsu seemingly fighting himself to not break down while Erza waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts.

"...it felt like my feelings for her only existed because I was trying to not hurt her. I did not-...love her...anymore- It was like...I never did..I wanted to..I-..I hoped to but.." Erza's expression visibly tensed at his words.

"Did you tell her that? On the night you broke up with her?" There was a small nod from Natsu and Erza's eyes widened at his confession. She hadn't heard anything about how exactly it all happened. After all it wasn't Lucy who gave her the news about them. She had heard it all from Mirajane, who herself did not have half the idea. But now that Erza knew, just thinking about the kind of emotions Lucy must have felt at that moment, was painful.

The disbelief and look of hurt were only there for a moment. Erza stared at Natsu, replacing her own feelings with a hint of comfort for him. She reminded herself that she could think about it all later. The issue in front of her at the moment was Natsu.

"Do you now think you were wrong then?" she asked next, carefully observing his reactions as his face contorted with a subtle look of regret.

"...I don't know what I feel. I d-don't have any right to feel anything. I hurt her. I don't have the right to care anymore... I don't care...I s-shouldn't..." Erza stared at him, this time unable to hide the shock in her eyes.

What exactly happened to him in the two years time that she had not talked to him? The last time she had seen Natsu before that was at his brother's funeral. It was three years ago.

She had tried to talk to him on that day, but he had given her a smile and told her not to worry. After that she did not see him around anymore. He had moved to a different city to be close to his voice training institute. At least that's what he told everyone.

It wasn't until less than a year ago, when she finally got back in contact with him. And she knew right away that something was out of place. He wasn't the Natsu whom Erza had known all those years ago.

The Natsu that Erza remembered was not such an insecure and pessimist lost child. He was a bright cheerful boy whose second nature happened to be always looking out for others. He had helped even her through so much, and every time she had tried to thank him for that, he brushed it all off pretending to forget that he ever did anything. He was like a little brother to her, a troublemaker at times, yes. But she could never leave him be.

She had promised herself that she would never give up on him. Especially after seeing that dejected look on his face, as he stood in front of his brother's grave. The look of pure pain in his features then, made a shiver run down her spine even to this day.

And so, despite hearing what happened between him and Lucy, Erza couldn't bring herself to blame him completely. She couldn't stop thinking that he had his reasons. The hurt in Lucy's eyes were real when she had brought up Natsu in the café. Erza was overwhelmed with guilt at that time. And even after all that, she still believed that she could not blame him completely.

The things he said and did to that kind-hearted girl was cruel. But as Erza got glimpses of the reasons hidden behind his actions and words, she was glad to not have given up on him.

"Are you tired?" She had heard enough. She did not want to force him to talk anymore. Especially now that she made sure he wouldn't put up any walls against her again.

He wouldn't be able to, not after all that he had already told her. There were still many questions that Erza wanted to be answered. Most of them involving the time that she hadn't seen him. The time that had led him to change into who he was today. But she knew that she would get the chance again. She had already pushed him to his limits. And now the last thing she wanted was to exhaust him to the point that he'd start hating the feeling of opening up.

Erza was pulled out of her thoughts when Natsu leaned her way, letting himself fall down and resting his head on her lap. He hid his face away from her but she knew his eyes were red and gleaming from the overwhelming emotions that he was holding back.

"W-Will you stay here?" He asked in a shaky breath and Erza smiled gently. He was acting like a little child and she did not hate it. After all, she could see hints of the old Natsu this way. The Natsu who was as pure as a little child. She softly ran her hand through his hair, in an attempt to comfort him.

"Yes. So rest easy and go to sleep." Natsu did not respond back and moments later she heard the sound of soft breathing coming from him, hinting that he had fallen asleep.

Erza sighed as she leaned back, resting her head on the edge of the couch. She thought back to the different things she had heard from different people about Natsu over the past few months. Especially after he made his debut. Some said he was a player, while others saw him as an arrogant jerk. There were even rumors about him sleeping with a new girl everyday. Something that was now widely believed even among their friends, the people who personally knew him.

 _If only they actually bothered to understand_ , Erza told herself. The last face to cross her mind before her eyes closed on their own, belonged to her dear friend, Lucy.

 _But she is different. Rumors don't fool her._


	10. Chapter 8 - Wavering Will

**A/N:** I was in Kyoto, Japan until yesterday. It was for work. My flight was delayed, so I decided to spend my time in a café outside my hotel, typing the previous chapter up. Surprisingly, a stranger approached me after a while. Before that he was sitting right behind me and incidentally saw me type the names 'Natsu' and 'Lucy'. He turned out to be a huge NaLu fanboy and took a real interest in this story. Well, one thing I realized from this experience is that- it's fun to meet someone who is interested in what you write.

 _ **Anyway, some General Facts from the chapters so far:**_

~Loke doesn't have feelings for Lucy.

~Macbeth's interests in Lucy aren't sudden.

~Gray had been in love with Lucy for over seven years now.

~Natsu never actually cheated on Lucy. And even though most people think otherwise, Lucy herself is very much aware of this.

~The first two sentences in the previous chapter -written in Italics- are actually Natsu's inner monologue over his jealousy + concern for Lucy.

~Erza is still prepared to tell Natsu not to attend her wedding- if Lucy changes her mind and doesn't wish to show up because of him. Even if it's at the very last minute.

* * *

 **Chapter 8 - Wavering Will**

-Eight Years Ago-

"This is the new transfer student I was telling you guys about yesterday. Both her parents are from Japan, but she was born in London and raised there by her aunt. After seventeen years of living abroad, she came to live in Japan with her parents. All of you! Behave properly and be friendly with her!" The older man, tall and too muscular for a high school teacher, finally turned to the girl in question with a kind smile. "You can introduce yourself by your name now, young lady." He told her with the same smile, as she responded with a shy one of her own.

He was asking her to tell her name, after spilling out her _entire_ background beforehand.

Pushing away the growing feeling of awkwardness in her head, the young blonde finally turned her complete attention to the entire class as she noted the slightly overwhelming curious gazes of her new classmates.

"Nice to meet you. I am Lucy Heartfilia. I hope we get along well." Lucy made a small bow as murmurs of cheers echoed in the previously silent classroom. She straightened up to find warm and welcoming smiles on the unfamiliar faces, a gesture that made her feel giddy. Her restless eyes moved around the class, until they came to a stop at one particularly odd sight.

A frowning young boy was staring intently at her from the very back seat of the center row, an expression that unsurprisingly stood out in comparison to the rest of the class' happy ones. Yet the aspect of him that felt most out of the place was those unnatural locks of spiky _pink_ hair? Lucy's curiosity got the better of her. Since she didn't stop her eyes from checking him out hurriedly.

The first couple buttons of his shirt were loose, and the long sleeves were rolled upto his elbow. Lucy noticed a single piercing on his left ear, the tiny silver ring gleamed under a ray of sunlight shining through one of the open windows. _A delinquent?_ She thought to herself, before finally snapping back to reality at the deep voice beside her.

"Alright, quiet now! Lucy, your seat is the last one on the second row from the windows."

 _Wow. It's right beside that delinquent._ Lucy remarked to herself disappointingly.

Oblivious to her inner monologue- the man continued, "I know I've already introduced myself, but I'll say it again. I'm your homeroom teacher, Gildarts Clive. And I teach PE."

 _PE, huh?_ He had only told her his name before but now that he mentioned PE, Lucy was finally able to make some sense of his overly strong built.

"Come to me for anything that you might be having trouble with." Gildarts flashed her a wide grin- making her wonder if the teachers in Japan were as kind and nice as him.

She wasn't the brightest student in her previous school back in London, but getting a treatment as nice as that from a teacher on the first day itself, motivated her to do her best.

Lucy gave him a grateful smile. After making sure to thank Gildarts in the most genuine way she could manage, she finally made her way to her assigned seat. A feeling of nervous excitement rose in her chest as she passed by the students, most of whose eyes still seemed to be glued on her. Maybe seeing a foreign student was pretty rare for them, after all.

Upon reaching her seat, Lucy silently sat down. Gildarts started calling out the names for attendance and as Lucy waited for hers, a tanned masculine hand slipped a small piece of carelessly folded paper on her desk. Blinking in confusion, Lucy moved her gaze to the owner of the hand at the seat beside her. That was when she saw it. An innocent wide grin deprived of any ulterior intentions. And before she could even register the image in her head, it made her heart skip a beat.

"Welcome to the class, Lucy!" He spoke in a whisper, the silly grin plastered on his face, not wavering. His attention then was stolen by Gildarts calling his name.

"Natsu Dragneel."

"Present, sir~!"

 _Natsu Dragneel._

Lucy repeated the name in her head a couple times, until her mind was able to focus on the small piece of paper still laying untouched on her desk. Throwing a glance at Natsu, who was now busy in a conversation with a raven haired guy on his other side, Lucy took the paper in her hand, carefully unfolding it to check the contents inside.

 _"Sorry for staring rudely! I thought the new transfer student would be an over the top arrogant foreigner. So seeing someone so normal surprised me!_ _Which is good! I hope we can become friends! :)_

 _P.S: Relax and smile more. Everyone seems to like you!"_

Lucy stared at the sloppy handwriting for a few more seconds before folding the paper back, neatly this time, and gently tucking it in her bag.

She was never going to judge anyone based on first impressions again. It was a silent promise to herself, while unknowing to her, a soft smile had broken on to her lips. And it did not go unnoticed by the person responsible for it.

Natsu stared at her for longer than he meant to, before turning ahead with an excited grin of his own. He noted how he was looking forward to school days even more now.

* * *

"It's already been a week since she transferred here, but Lucy's popularity isn't going down at all." The raven haired boy beside him spoke, and Natsu raised a brow at the comment. A pair of black eyes moved to the front of the classroom where a hoard of girls were all over the new girl.

He leaned back on the seat, his gaze fixed on the troubled blonde.

"She looks overwhelmed..." With a hint of worry, he murmured just loud enough for the male beside him to hear.

"I know right? I haven't even talked to her directly yet. It's so hard to step into a crowd like that. And she always seems to be attracting people like a Queen bee attracting the worker bees. You're lucky to be sitting right beside her!"

"Dude, that comment about Queen bee is kinda rude towards her. Though I do agree a little. She attracts the people around her. I think that's one of her charms." Natsu smiled fondly as he watched her laugh at something one of the girls said. She did look overwhelmed but she knew how to manage the never ending attention. "Also, you need to stop thinking I'm lucky, Gray. I barely even talked to her since the first day. She always looks so focused on the lessons, it's hard to call out to her."

Observing Natsu's expression carefully, Gray leaned on his desk as he rested his chin on his palm. "Does the dense pink-head have feelings for the new girl~?" He cooed with a teasing smirk as it made Natsu narrow his eyes with a not-so-impressed look.

"What are you even talking about?" He arched an eyebrow at Gray, to which the latter chuckled.

"It's written all over your face, buddy." His laugh only got louder at Natsu's frown, attracting some unwanted attention while the latter continued glaring at him, hoping he'd stop.

"Shut up already, Gray!" Natsu looked uncharacteristically flustered, especially after noticing even Lucy's eyes on them.

It took the raven head a few more moments before his amusement finally settled down. The eyes he was attracting towards him were now back at their own specific tasks. Letting out a heavy sigh to calm his mirth, he stole a glance at the new girl. "I wonder if she's having language problems with the lessons. You did say she looks really focused during classes."

"What are you talking about? She got higher marks than either of us in the literature test yesterday." Natsu spoke in the most obvious tone, not seeming bothered about getting beaten by someone in Japanese when they studied abroad all their life.

"You can't be serious..." Unlike his best friend's reaction, Gray's expression spoke of a huge shock. His competitive nature kicked in as he stared down at his desk with his head hung low, sulking over the fact that he was losing to someone who hadn't even seen the face of Japan until a few weeks ago.

Natsu sweatdropped internally at the sight. "Dude, you're overreacting..."

"How would you know what I am feeling?! You don't even care about your grades!"

"That's because I am not a drama queen like you." Natsu replied with a sigh. "Seriously, cheer up! Wanna hang out at the arcade center after classes today? My treat." He did not understand the motivation behind Gray's over exaggerated reactions when it came to academic performance, but he knew it was genuinely affecting the dark haired boy. Maybe informing him about her scores wasn't the right choice after all.

Gray looked back at him with a grateful expression on his face, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "You're an angel in the form of a human, Natsu." He said dramatically with a tone of admiration.

"That coming from a guy doesn't make me pleased at all..." The slightly younger boy chuckled nervously.

Gray looked like he had a proper response prepared for that remark, but before he had the chance to speak, the door to the classroom slid open with enough force to make both the boys flinch in shock. Their attention along with the rest of the class, turned to the small frame of a girl who was now standing at the entrance. She was crouched down with her hands on her knees, huffing and puffing as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Levy?" Natsu raised a brow while Gray gaped at her, very surprised at the girl's entrance. So there was someone dramatic enough to give him a run for money.

"LUCY!" Levy, who had finally gotten a hold of her breathing, swiftly made her way to the blonde in question. Her eyes very clearly shone in pure excitement as she easily broke into the crowd before throwing herself at the only person of her interest.

The pair now had the entire class's attention, most giving them looks of confusion and surprise, while the crowd around Lucy looked bewildered at being brushed aside so easily.

"Levy! It's really you!" Lucy spoke with the same tone of excitement as she hugged the shorter girl tightly.

"It _is_ me! And I had such a hard time believing it was you when I first heard the new transfer student's name! Why didn't you tell me?" Levy exclaimed while pulling away from the hug as she brought her hands to hold Lucy's, intertwining their fingers together.

"I wanted to surprise you but I had a hard time looking for you." Lucy confessed with a sheepish smile and it didn't take Levy long to catch up on the reason behind her struggles. She turned to the small crowd around the two girls that hadn't shown any sign of moving even after Levy's interference.

"You guys! Don't you have anything else to do? Give her some space to breath! She might have gotten here from a different country but she is still a human being, you know? Stop treating her like some kind of an alien!" She scolded them with an unimpressed look as they started to move away, most of them going back to their seats looking displeased.

Gray finally chuckled at the scene in front of him as Natsu didn't look any less amused either. The two boys gave each other a knowing look before leaving their seat. They approached the girls with Natsu waving a hand as a greeting.

"Hey, Levy!" He spoke with a cheerful grin as he stood beside Lucy while leaving a comfortable distance between them.

"Hi Hi!" Gray said next with a smile, forgetting his sore mood from before.

"Natsu! Gray! I haven't seen you two around recently, what have you guys been up to?" Levy asked with a surprised smile, confirming the boys' suspicions that she hadn't noticed them until then.

"Well whenever we hang around your class during breaks, you're always in the library." Gray answered for both of them and Natsu shrugged, silently agreeing with him.

"Ah, that's why! Well, good to see you two doing well!" Levy said in a content tone. Natsu's eyes moved to Lucy next who was watching their conversation with a thoughtful expression, her head slightly tilted to the side. And the first thing to cross his mind was the word - _cute._

Feeling his eyes on her, Lucy glanced over at Natsu. A look of surprise crossed her face as her eyes met his. It managed to pull Natsu back into reality. He finally looked away with slightly tinted cheeks, failing to notice the same expression on her.

"So, you two know each other?" Gray spoke first, his eyes moving from Levy to Lucy and back, as he looked completely oblivious to the silent interaction between his salmon haired best friend and the latter.

"That's right! I met Lucy back in London. My Dad is an occasional business partner with Lucy's aunt! We're childhood friends and we're always together when I'm visiting London with Dad!" Levy replied, not catching up on the awkward silence between the two either.

"Isn't your father the President of a Toy Company?" The dark haired boy asked again, his curiosity really piqued this time.

"Yep and Lady Anna, that is her aunt, is the President of another one in London. They often collaborate on various projects together." Levy then turned her attention to the other two in the group, finally noticing their uncharacteristic silence. "What's wrong?" She blinked in confusion, directing Gray's curiosity to Natsu and Lucy as well.

"Are you two okay?" Gray asked and Natsu shrugged, trying to shake off the awkwardness on his side.

"Was just listening to you two talk." He said, to which Lucy gave a sheepish smile.

"Yeah, I didn't want to interrupt." Gray chuckled at Lucy's response.

"Interrupt? We were talking about you." He remarked gleefully. "I'm Gray, by the way. We see each other everyday in class but I never got a chance to talk to you." Gray talked to her not like a stranger, but a friend that he'd known for a while. The carefree tone in his voice made Lucy relax instantly.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to talk to you. I should have greeted you first. I'm Lucy." She spoke with an apologetic look before holding out her hand. And Gray took it almost instinctively.

"Don't worry about that. Glad we finally have our introductions out of the way." He said honestly with a chuckle, while giving her hand a gentle shake. Her skin was noticeably warm to the touch. The insignificant realization left an unsettling feeling in his now empty hand as he let hers go.

Brushing aside whatever it was that he felt, Gray gave Natsu a nudge with his elbow. "Hey, where are your manners, Natsu?" He asked in a teasing manner, making Natsu glare daggers at the raven haired boy.

"Yeah Natsu, you've been acting a little weird." Levy remarked with a concerned look, clearly not understanding the reason behind the difference in his usual cheerfulness. Natsu simply gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine. You're reading too much into this, Levy." He told her as a matter of fact. And then directed his attention to Lucy. "We've talked before for a bit but I don't think I introduced myself, haha.." He laughed nervously before holding out his hand to her on his own. "I'm Natsu Dragneel! The future of the voice acting world!"

"So lame~" Gray cooed with an unimpressed look. Lucy giggled softly.

"I'm Lucy Heartfilia. I don't have any big ambitions yet, but well, call me Lucy."

"Looking forward to a great year with you, Lucy!" Natsu gave her his widest grin. Her hand that was still in his, made Lucy's heart suddenly thrum in her chest. It was getting too loud for her comfort and she prayed to heavens that the others wouldn't be able to hear it. Color rose to her cheeks as she tilted her head a bit to the side, lifting her shoulders slightly with a warm smile.

"Same here, Natsu."

 _'What do I do? I am already hopelessly in love.'_

 _Two voices spoke simultaneously to themselves._

* * *

Natsu's eyes jerked open as his upper body instinctively shot up on the couch. He was sweating, his heart struggling to slow down with the rapid uncontrollable beating. Looking around him he noticed how he was in the living room instead of his bedroom. Rays of sunlight had started peeking inside, through the curtains covering the glass doors to the balcony.

Did he fall asleep while working? Questions rose one after another in his head, before the lingering warmth of a hand running through his hair snapped him back to his senses.

Vivid memories from the previous night came rushing back to Natsu, as he hid both his face in the palm of his hands. The realization of all the things that he had told her, left him shaking in disappointment at himself.

"Why did I have to blabber all that?", were the first words that he murmured. He asked himself the question partially in shock, but mostly in regret.

Natsu didn't get the chance to think further about his dilemma, as a sudden burst of pain in his head left him groaning. He threw off the thin blanket over him, paying it little to no mind. Stumbling to the kitchen with the constantly growing headache, Natsu struggled to find something in the fridge. When his blurred vision finally settled upon a bottle of water, he grabbed it hurriedly.

After frustratingly taking off the tight cap with shaky hands, Natsu emptied the whole bottle over his head. It was painfully cold but somewhat soothing at the same time. Seconds later the overwhelming pain started to subside, as he leaned forward on the basin. He took deep breaths while patiently waiting for the headache to disappear completely.

Finally able to regain his composure, Natsu's eyes moved around the little view he had from the kitchen door of his seemingly empty apartment. Erza was not anywhere to be seen and he realized that she had left while he was asleep. A wave of relief hit him at the thought. Since the last thing he wanted at the moment was to have her see more of his pathetic side.

Natsu finally let himself slide down onto the plain white tiled floor, now a little wet and slippery from the water. His head rested on the wooden counter behind him as he stared into the distance, not letting his eyes focus at anything in particular.

Cold droplets of water slid down his hair and onto his face. His indifference to the sensation reminded him of his numb state over and over again.

 _This is the worst._ He thought to himself, strong emotions dancing in his seemingly shaking dark eyes. He was never good at hiding something. He knew it and yet he had tried so hard. Only for his feelings to take over all his reasoning. Not once, but twice.

And as if that wasn't enough, he ended up giving Erza the chance to force her way into his thoughts and ruin most of his remaining efforts. His carelessness only led him to remember and dream of memories that he struggled to forget.

Natsu gritted his teeth. The frustration and pain made breathing uncomfortably hard for him. All until everything in him shut down, as a series of voices started playing in his head.

 _You're a failure, Natsu. You always will be._

 _That was disappointing._

 _You're just not good enough._

"Shut up."

 _I had hoped you to be as talented as your brother._

 _I might consider casting you if you introduce me to that girl of yours._

"Shut up!"

 _You're still sulking despite all these opportunities? What an ungrateful man._

 _Are you sure you aren't the one to blame for his death?_

 **"Shut up!"**

 _I am sorry, son. I have an important meeting to attend. I can't be at the funeral._

 _Accept it already. She is too good for you._

 **"SHUT UP!"**

Natsu snapped back out of his thoughts at the loud echo of his own voice. He stared ahead intently, the only object in front of his vision was the empty water bottle lying on the floor. He hadn't realized how heavy his breathing was, until his chest hurt from supposedly holding his breath for too long.

"Ugh.." He groaned clutching his head in his hands. It hurt so bad. And this time it wasn't just his head.

 _"Lucy."_

The all too familiar name escaped his lips, ultimately breaking the dam of bottomless emotions that he had been holding back.

 _And the tears that followed, showed no sign of stopping._


	11. Author's Corner 2

**Author's Corner 2**

So I am back with another A/C! Here I'll answer and clear up your doubts about the previous chapters. You might also get some little sneak peeks for the upcoming chapters so I hope you read till the end~ If you don't wanna, it's okay too! That would only mean you have no doubts about the story so far and nothing could make me happier :)

Anyway, let's start!

The first person I'm going to talk about today is **Erza.**

As most of you probably have already guessed, Erza is like a mother figure to Natsu, while Lucy sees her more like an older sister that she can talk to about her feelings. And let me assure you, Erza is playing both of the roles very well.

Now I saw in the reviews that one of the guests have issues with Erza basically asking Lucy to "deal with the pain" from having Natsu around in the wedding. Well, first of all- Erza neither said anything like that to Lucy nor was it in her intentions. In her monologue it's very clear that she is worried about Lucy. I stated a fact about Erza in Chapter 8. Where I said that Erza is prepared to tell Natsu not to attend her wedding if Lucy feels uncomfortable with the idea. She is putting Lucy's feelings before her own relationship with Natsu.

The reason why Erza did not express this thought directly to her is because of how selfless Lucy is. She'd have felt extreme guilt about this. She'd have blamed herself for Erza not being able to invite someone so close to her on her biggest day. So Erza chose the indirect approach and asked her if she was okay with Natsu's presence in the wedding. If she weren't, Natsu would not have been invited. Lucy did seem hurt at the question (which was a very natural reaction) but she also showed resolve by saying that she does not plan to miss her friend's wedding over her past. Erza admired that resolve and did not want to ruin it so she left things as they are. But she still plans on leaving Natsu out of her biggest day, if Lucy shows any discomfort even at the day of the wedding.

So the thing here is that, Natsu and Lucy basically belong to the same friends circle. They share so many mutual friends that sooner or later they'll have to face each other. Lucy is aware of that and so she decided to face him sooner than later. And Erza was quick to understand that.

 **P.S:** I did not mention this fact in the main story because I did not want Erza to become an overwhelmingly generous figure and stealing the show. Since she is more like a supporting character to the story, I do not have any intentions to put her direct POV in the main plot, unless she's dealing with one of the main characters. So I understand if she is misunderstood for my preferences. But as I mentioned once before, if I have enough time in the future- I'll be writing an individual spin-off one shot series for the supporting characters of this story, where you'll get a deeper understanding of their thought process, pov, and see glimpses of their own lives.

Moving on to the next person~ We have **Loke!**

Now I haven't really seen any confusion over his character, but I'd still like to elaborate on his relationship with Lucy. What Loke feels towards Lucy is affection and attachment more like what one would have for their pet. Of course I mean it in a good way. He adores her and genuinely cares about her more than most people in his life. But his feelings don't involve any romantic desires. I also have no intentions to change that so his relationship with Lucy will always be the same.

 **P.S:** You'll see how he got around to getting so close to Lucy somewhere in the future chapters, so stay in touch~

And now we have **Macbeth.**

I don't have much to say about him, except he wasn't a part of the initial plot I had in my mind. At least not until I was done completely creating Natsu's character in my head. So yes, he is gonna play a big role in the future of this story. And surprise surprise~ he might or might not end up in the run to win Lucy's heart. [Wow, that sounded so clichéd...lol]

As for his background and the fact I mentioned in Chapter 8 about his "interests" for Lucy not being sudden, you'll have to wait for that as well. It will be another few chapters before I can show you all what I really meant.

Finally we have **Natsu.**

So the guest who had trouble understanding Erza's character also seems to have problems with Natsu's. Thus, this one is mostly directed to you, Guest-chan~

I don't want to talk a lot and end up giving you spoilers but let me say this, please don't stress out yourself trying to understand him. I don't want to be the reason of your headaches. Predicting stuff is fine and all, but I am here for a reason. It's my job to tell you what's going on with him. And I promise that I will do so when the right time comes. Chapters 7-8 are not meant to give you a better understanding of his character because his character is not so simple to be explained in a mere couple chapters. They were meant to show you that he has some deep issues. So if you got that message out of them then that's more than enough.

Now about the fact on Natsu never actually cheating on Lucy - I only confirmed the fact that Erza had vaguely stated at the end of Chapter 7. She referred to the news of him sleeping with a new girl everyday as a "rumor". And before falling asleep herself, she thought about how Lucy is different because rumors don't fool her. Basically, Lucy knows all these are just rumors. How? She knows Natsu. That's all I can say at this point. And honestly, this is also the reason why she doesn't hold any grudges against him. Since she knows that at the very least, he's never lied to her or been unfaithful in the relationship.

However, most of the other characters think differently, including Natsu's supposed best friend, Gray. The reason mostly involves the drastic changes in Natsu over the past years. The changes that left even Erza shocked and curious. As you can see from their school flashback, he was a cheerful, kind and observant guy who had an eye out for the people around him. He encouraged Gray and looked worried about Lucy even though they barely talked. So seeing _that_ Natsu changing into a cold, detached and somewhat uncaring, has made people feel confused and lost. Gray is no exception to that. That's why when they hear something about him, specifically rumors- they can't bring themselves to deny those.

As for Macbeth thinking the same despite being around Natsu (like we saw at the end of Chapter 6), they haven't really known each other for too long (spoiler...but not really? lol). So he doesn't know enough facts about Natsu to disbelieve the rumors he hears.

Now to the question- Why is Natsu surrounded by rumors like that? Well let's just say you have to wait to find out. Though I did leave a hint at the end of Chapter 8, it's okay if you don't catch up on it.

So this marks the end for today's Author's Corner. I initially had plans to do these after 5 or 10 chapters but I realized that I did the previous one after 4 chapters (excluding the Prologue) and I also had all these stuff to clear up before heading on to my future plans for the story.

I also wanna repeat one thing that I'd said before in the last Author's Corner. It's the fact that my writing style is not straightforward. There is a valid reason behind each thing I make the characters say or do. To know the meaning, you either have to look forward to the future chapters or wait for more Author's Corners like these. So please don't stress yourself by over thinking. If you don't understand, that's okay. You can just ask.

I know the most complicated of all characters so far is Natsu. Even I have troubles sorting out my thoughts when I start thinking too deeply about how he feels over certain things. And let me assure you that there are certain things, certain incidents and certain people who have played a role in him ending up as who is at present. Whether that justifies his actions towards Lucy or not- is for you to decide. But I hope you don't reach a conclusion until after I'm done writing his situation and his side of the story completely. Unfortunately that will take some time so I expect a little patience from my readers.

 **Anyway! If you've read till the end of this, then thank you~!**

I would LOVE to thank - **aesthetic af, Bakers28, leutanant, JustAnotherFan14 and also the guest readers** for y'alls reviews! I LOVE reading what you have to say, so I hope you don't hold back in the future either~

I look forward to writing more and updating as soon as I can so I don't have to make you guys wait too long.

 **Have a great day!**


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